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OT Grieving Specialist

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AngieRose - 01 Feb 2005 22:59 GMT
So today I went to see a grieving specialist in hopes that I could be around
people that feel the way I do in a group setting but she wants me to go to
therapy due to my history of Major Depression and compulsive disorder and to
go on meds. I told her meds aren't right for me at this time I feel to Ok to
numb myself... I like feeling and missed it when I had to be on meds. I also
told her I was going to feel my way past the one year anniversary of my dads
death and call one of her therapists if I feel I need it. She told me to
keep a journal because all therapy is, is talking your feelings out and that
just might be enough for me. I told her I will do that.

I'm just scared because my dad passed away on Feb 5th and my birthday is Feb
4th. I'm worried that it might be to much for me to deal with. How do you
enjoy your birthday after something like that? I'm only 30 I should get at
least a call from my mom and dad at this age, at least after my mom passed
away I still had my dad. I feel so bad for people that loose there parents
when they are kids they must miss them so much when they have big events
happening (first date, prom, getting braces off, graduation, learning to
drive) I know I will miss them when I have a baby.

I just had to get it off my chest, sorry
Angie
Cheri - 01 Feb 2005 23:29 GMT
(((((((((((((((((AngieRose)))))))))))))))))))))

--
Cheri

AngieRose wrote in message ...
>So today I went to see a grieving specialist in hopes that I could be around
>people that feel the way I do in a group setting but she wants me to go to
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
>I just had to get it off my chest, sorry
>Angie
AngieRose - 01 Feb 2005 23:54 GMT
> (((((((((((((((((AngieRose)))))))))))))))))))))
>
> --
> Cheri

Thank you Cheri
Angie
Saffire - 02 Feb 2005 02:19 GMT
> I'm just scared because my dad passed away on Feb 5th and my birthday is Feb
> 4th. I'm worried that it might be to much for me to deal with. How do you
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> I just had to get it off my chest, sorry

I'm so sorry for your loss, Angie :-(  This is the first year for you,
so it will be hard, but it DOES get better with time.  A long time ago I
lost someone early in December -- he had gone into a coma the day after
Thanksgiving, so Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard for me for a long
time, but it got better each year.  {{{{{{{{{{ ANGIE }}}}}}}}}}

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Saffire
205/144/125  -  5'1.5"
Atkins since 6/14/03
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AngieRose - 02 Feb 2005 03:31 GMT
> I'm so sorry for your loss, Angie :-(  This is the first year for you,
> so it will be hard, but it DOES get better with time.  A long time ago I
> lost someone early in December -- he had gone into a coma the day after
> Thanksgiving, so Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard for me for a long
> time, but it got better each year.  {{{{{{{{{{ ANGIE }}}}}}}}}}

Its been almost 6 years since my mom passed and it does get less painfull
unless I really think about it. I hope your right and my birthday will get
more enjoyable as time passes. I have to stop thinking of it as the day
before.
Thanks Saffire
Angie
Jim Bard - 02 Feb 2005 02:31 GMT
> So today I went to see a grieving specialist in hopes that I could be
> around
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> I just had to get it off my chest, sorry
> Angie

I hear you, Angie, and get it.

The best thing you can ever do for yourself is get past the drama and make a
life for youraself.  Nobody will do that better for yourself than you can.

We all have lost people.  I know it hurts.  You have to decide what you want
to do.
AngieRose - 02 Feb 2005 03:36 GMT
> I hear you, Angie, and get it.
>
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> We all have lost people.  I know it hurts.  You have to decide what you want
> to do.

I'm trying my best to move on after all they did right? I just have to
remember that they are together again and much more happy then when they
were apart. Hey at least it didn't happen on my birthday and I got to talk
to my dad the night before.

Thank you Jim
Angie
Wysong *~ - 02 Feb 2005 07:57 GMT
> I'm just scared because my dad passed away on Feb 5th and my birthday is Feb
> 4th.
==================
My father passed away in 1982 and I still miss him.
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Wysong
Age 60.  Height 5'6"
Starting date: 1/8/05
171/ 166 / 140 lb
==========================================

A Ross - 02 Feb 2005 14:06 GMT
> So today I went to see a grieving specialist in hopes that I could be around
> people that feel the way I do in a group setting but she wants me to go to
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
> I just had to get it off my chest, sorry
> Angie

Angie,

My dad died in a car accident last April--I know how you're feeling
right now. My birthday was yesterday, and it was hard not having him
around, same as it's been hard on all of the holidays and special
occasions.

My mother is still grieving deeply, but I think the meds help her a lot,
as well as being surrounded and supported by family. I really think a
support group can help you to express your feelings of loss in a healthy
way.  The grief process is different for everyone--we have to cope in
our own way. My way was to throw myself into a variety of work and home
projects and to make myself to busy to think too much. I also took over
my father's business--something that ties me to him in many ways.

Getting through this time will be hard, but my advice (and I hope I can
follow my own when the time comes) is to use the day to pay homage to
your father. Perhaps visiting a place or doing an activity you both
enjoyed. Or just visiting his site and having a talk--and a good cry.

Hope all goes well, and have a good birthday.

Amy
AngieRose - 02 Feb 2005 16:48 GMT
> Angie,
>
> My dad died in a car accident last April--I know how you're feeling
> right now. My birthday was yesterday, and it was hard not having him
> around, same as it's been hard on all of the holidays and special
> occasions.

Amy I'm so sorry about your dad and Happy Biirthday. The first year is
always so hard because its all new and you expect the call or to see them as
always. When I feel like I want to call both my mom and dad I just talk to
them.

> My mother is still grieving deeply, but I think the meds help her a lot,
> as well as being surrounded and supported by family. I really think a
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> projects and to make myself to busy to think too much. I also took over
> my father's business--something that ties me to him in many ways.

My dad just existed for 3 years after my mom passed he worked went to sleep
got up to eat then went to sleep then worked and so on. The 4th year he
found a GF but all he talked about was how much she was like my mom. I dont
kow how old your mom is but when my mom passed they were both 48. My mom had
cancer and told my dad to find someone that will love and take care of him.
I hope your mom can get past this sad event unlike my dad.

> Getting through this time will be hard, but my advice (and I hope I can
> follow my own when the time comes) is to use the day to pay homage to
> your father. Perhaps visiting a place or doing an activity you both
> enjoyed. Or just visiting his site and having a talk--and a good cry.

I live 1700 miles away from home so all I have are photos and the hope that
they can hear me when I speak to them.

Amy I picked up this book a few months ago : How to Survive the Loss of a
Parent - A guide for adults... Lois F Akner C.S.W. with Catherine Whitney. I
thought it was helpfull.

> Hope all goes well, and have a good birthday.

Thank you

Angie
A Ross - 02 Feb 2005 19:38 GMT
> Amy I picked up this book a few months ago : How to Survive the Loss of a
> Parent - A guide for adults... Lois F Akner C.S.W. with Catherine Whitney. I
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> Angie

Thank you, Angie. I will look for the book.

Take care,

Amy
Ada Ma - 02 Feb 2005 14:45 GMT
> So today I went to see a grieving specialist...

{{{{Angie}}}}

Have you ever done Cognitive Behavior Therapy?  I don't know what it is, but
apparently it's good for dealing with things that can't be dealt with by talk
therapy / psychotherapy.  Out of curiosity I'd just borrowed some books and hope
to learn a bit about it.

Another strategy is to think about people who are in worse situations than
yourself, I guess it helps to make the pain more bearable because you won't feel
so alone.
AngieRose - 02 Feb 2005 17:03 GMT
> > So today I went to see a grieving specialist...
>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> therapy / psychotherapy.  Out of curiosity I'd just borrowed some books and hope
> to learn a bit about it.

Cognitive Therapy was the best thing I ever did it helped me learn how to
deal/control my social anxiety, temper, compulsive disorder and depression.

> Another strategy is to think about people who are in worse situations than
> yourself, I guess it helps to make the pain more bearable because you won't feel
> so alone.

I try to do this I know I'm not the worst off because I lost my mom and dad
so young. I know people are starving and people just lost large amounts of
family and homes thanks to the tsunami and I know young children all over
the world loose parents everyday. I understand this and thank God everyday
for what I have. I also thank god for such good Parents.

Thanks for the hug,
Angie
Ada Ma - 02 Feb 2005 19:48 GMT
Thanks for sharing. :-)

>>>So today I went to see a grieving specialist...
>>
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
> Thanks for the hug,
> Angie
Nicky - 02 Feb 2005 23:13 GMT
> I'm just scared because my dad passed away on Feb 5th and my birthday is
> Feb
> 4th. I'm worried that it might be to much for me to deal with.

Oh, Angie, that is so rough. My Mum's and my sister's birthdays are very
close together; since Mum died, we've celebrated my sister's birthday the
weekend before, and had a special remember for Mum the weekend after. The
separation has helped us, especially my sister.

Nicky.

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AngieRose - 03 Feb 2005 03:40 GMT
> > I'm just scared because my dad passed away on Feb 5th and my birthday is
> > Feb
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> Nicky.

Thanks for the advice I'll have to do that next year... This year its just
to late. This year I'm going to be around a lot of friends so I hope that
helps then I work on sat so maybe I wont have time to think about it. I hope
you and your sister are doing well.

Angie
Nicky - 03 Feb 2005 20:35 GMT
>  I hope
> you and your sister are doing well.

We are, thankyou. One day at a time, sometimes. But it does get better.

Nicky.
 
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