URGENT!

Fr: Brandon Toropov
To: You

We at XYZ Industries have rented an e-mail tracker and will be using
it for the next three months.  We cannot help it.  Someone made us
do it and now we have to send this out.  We have no control anymore.
We are still recovering.

Forward this e-mail immediately to everyone you know and you will receive
$156.  Even though you haven't given anyone your name or address in the
process of forwarding the e-mail.  $156 will nevertheless come to you.
The people you send this e-mail to will get $178.  Yes, that's right,
they get more than you do.  Why?  What do you care?  Who are you to
tell us who we should give money to?  They probably hit FORWARD more
often than you did.  What is that your business?  Stop asking questions.
Forward more copies of this message.

An e-mail tracker is an extremely sophisticated piece of surveillance
equipment, you know.  By means of a an algorithm of unfathomable beauty
and complexity, our e-mail tracker can track every piece of e-mail you
ever have receved, ever have sent, or ever will send.

Forward this e-mail immediately to everyone you know and you will receive
enough money to pay off t he U.S. national debt.  Whether you fulfill
your civic duty by doing so is, of course, entirely up to you.

I too thought this must be a hoax.  I said, "Is this a hoax?" right out
loud.  What we say is important because what the mouth utters repeatedly
the soul has attempted without success to conceal.  You've heard about
Tourette's syndrome no doubt.  Well that's kind of what we're talking
about.  FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD.

Forward this e-mail to everyone you know and you will be able to live
rent-free in the apartment of your choice until June of next year.

We hit FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD for weeks on end and eventually
this message reached you because we have rented the e-mail tracker for
a total of three months and now we have to use it and we don't really
mean to make you feel paranoid, but we feel it must have led us to you
for a reason.  By the way, do you know how much it costs to build an
e-mail tracker?  Neither do we but we have rented it for three months
and if we don't use it we're pretty much cooked.  So we FORWARD FORWARD
FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD.

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will receive
a popup gift certificate to your local Dead Cattle Family Restaurant.
Print it off.  It doesn't look like a gift certificate but that's what
it is.  A lot of things don't look like gift certificates at first.

FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will win
an hour with the person who should have fallen in love with you in high
school.  During this hour this person will do whatever you say and neither
of you will possess a conscience.  The hour will last as long as you want.

If you want to design an e-mail tracker, visit our web site:  FORWARD
FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD
FORWARD FORWARD DOT COM.  We visit it all the time.  Frankly we can no
longer stop ourselves and soon you won't be able to either.

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will receive
an Academy Award for Best Achievement in Special Effects.

If you were going to stop reading, don't.  Horrible things happen to
people who stop reading this letter.

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will receive
a transplant for any organ of your choice.  You will improve your own
circulation and your blood will actually begin to vibrate within your
veins.

Otis Redding tried to develop an e-mail tracker but was murdered by the
Trilateral Commission.

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will be
assured of a chance to witness your least favorite politician's most
embarrassing public moment.  No one will know about the embarrassing
moment ahead of time except you.  If you choose to, you can make your
least favorite politician relive that embarrassing moment over and
over again.  If you want, it can involve that person who should have
fallen in love with you during your high school years.

Do you now believe in e-mail trackers?  You should.  People who do not
believe in e-mail trackers fail to receive mysterious checks for $156
in the mail.  They also experience prolonged periods of sexual inadequacy.

Forward this email immediately to everyone you know and you will
approach white light as you hurtle at unimaginable speed through a
darkened passageway and feel the swarming of the godhead within your
heart.  You will learn everything there is to learn about crossing over.
Your identity will fall a way painlessly; you will feel a sense of deep
joy; every cruel or unjust act you ever witnessed or experienced, every
war, every famine, every abuse, will suddenly seem to fit seamlessly
within a perfect plan, divinely guided to point you toward the instant
you decide to fulfill your destiny and secure enlightenment for all
beings by forwarding this e-mail to everyone you know.

Don't even get us started about what happens to people who hit the
DELETE key.

------- End of forwarded forwarded forwarded forwarded message -------

Hi,

Thank you Jamie, those will probably get the point across without
making the recipient mad.  Unlike the email I sent my buddy this
morning.  Oh well.

Take care,
Carmen