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Weight Loss Forum / Low Carb / May 2006hello all decisions
There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to reading only the posts. I do not enjoy some people's nasty comments and granted maybe I am too sensitive and put myself wide open for the comments with not best sentence composing or spelling but I think I have finally had it. I will continue to read but not post anymore. This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain comments. Gained weight? Decided to cheat? Sometimes there is more to dropping out than fear of JC. > There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking > for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > comments. Gawd Cubit, You're sounding like the other insensitive 3 word sentence maker in here. That was really nasty. Just because you haven't gained (or have you?) and you dont cheat ( or do you?) That was down right mean!!!! Laureen > Gained weight? > Decided to cheat? [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > > comments. > Gained weight? > Decided to cheat? wow - i haven't been around here for a long time and it looks like you have turned nasty. What happened?? > Sometimes there is more to dropping out than fear of JC. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >> This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain >> comments. >> Gained weight? >> Decided to cheat? > > wow - i haven't been around here for a long time and it looks like you > have turned nasty. What happened?? People are desensitized because of the lack personal interaction with others. People wouldn't and don't talk to others the way they do in these newsgroups if they are face to face with someone. It's easy to sit behind their computers with fake email addresses and slam people. People start out nice, but after they receive a few nasty comments made to them, they develop a "thick skin" or leave. Most people that stay are nice, sadly others don't stay that way. NG's haven't always been like this, it has evolved in to what it is today. To survive in today's NG, all you need is that "thick skin" and a good killfile (personality or compassion is not required).  SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the group. However, I'll bet I was right. I'd bet 50 cents that the real issue is a choice to cheat or leave low carb. 95% failure rate Consider the implications. > > Gained weight? > > Decided to cheat? [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > >> This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > >> comments. :: My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the :: group. However, I'll bet I was right. I'd bet 50 cents that the :: real issue is a choice to cheat or leave low carb. Since you don't offer up any more you must not think much of what you claim here. The OP just recently reached goal. I think she has been wondering about food and exercise options and is concerned about regaining weight. However, I don't think there has been enough time to regain significant weight. The OP has been getting a lot of hassle around here, for reasons concerning her posting style and revealing her personal info. So, frankly, I believe her reasons for going into lurk mode. However, I don't think that will likely end up being a good idea, for the reason you mention below. :: 95% failure rate Yep. That' the best reason to hang around, IMO. You have a point. I just scanned the OP's posts. They seemed to all be off topic, except one about oatmeal for breakfast. I didn't find the part about being at goal. I would wonder what BMI that goal was.... > :: My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the > :: group. However, I'll bet I was right. I'd bet 50 cents that the [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Yep. That' the best reason to hang around, IMO. :: You have a point. I just scanned the OP's posts. They seemed to :: all be off topic, except one about oatmeal for breakfast. Yeah, the most recent ones definitely come across that way. :: I didn't find the part about being at goal. I would wonder what :: BMI that goal was.... Yeah, you might have to go back several weeks for it. I don't remember any mention of BMI...most people think in terms of how they look and feel, etc, anyway. ::: Cubit wrote: ::::: My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] ::: ::: Yep. That' the best reason to hang around, IMO. > My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the group. > However, I'll bet I was right. I'd bet 50 cents that the real issue is a > choice to cheat or leave low carb. I think you hit the nail on the head and I'll quote "My reply may not have been warm and supportive". Isn't that the *basic* idea of this NG to support? alt.SUPPORT.diet.low-carb > 95% failure rate > > Consider the implications. SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week > > My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the group. > > However, I'll bet I was right. I'd bet 50 cents that the real issue is a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > been warm and supportive". Isn't that the *basic* idea of this NG to > support? alt.SUPPORT.diet.low-carb Touchy-feely strokes no matter what may be pleasant, but they are only supportive if you're already doing the right thing. If you're headed in the wrong direction then touchy-feely strokes no matter what oppose you not support you. So folks who discuss counterproductive stuff get pointed back in the right direction. When folks disagree with you it rarely feels warm. Counterproductive stuff ranges from depending on a magic bullet or pill, overdoing and risking a crash/burn, and getting excessive about personal problems. This is a diet support group, so frustrations on that topic do draw sympathy from most. It's not an insecurity support group, though. Consider that one of the goals of weight loss is frequently to become more social from feeling better about yourself and you'll be better able to get why some won't support various types of non-dietary insecurity. I guess I've always found the : "It's easier to catch flies with honey instead of vinegar" approach worked better in my life, but to each their own. I've never seen "Tough Love" do any good in the long term, because people tend to abuse it. Joe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week >> > My reply may not have been warm and supportive of her quitting the >> > group. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > about yourself and you'll be better able to get why some > won't support various types of non-dietary insecurity. >I guess I've always found the : "It's easier to catch flies with honey >instead of vinegar" approach worked better in my life, but to each their >own. I've never seen "Tough Love" do any good in the long term, because >people tend to abuse it. Well, I'd have to agree with you about the negligible effectiveness of "tough love," on usenet, anyhow. The problem is that "tough love" approaches only work when there is a relationship of trust already in place. Even in the absence of love or friendship. But on usenet, that relationship rarely exists. Maybe a long term guru type, who has established credibility and having the best interests of others in mind, can pull off a "tough love" intervention with another poster. But the so-called "tough love" approaches tend to come from a few folks here who appear to be fairly dysfunctional in terms of personal relationships. They are mean to vicious, and offer very little really... definitely not gurus. Witness JC's advice for other posters to kill themselves. Witness QOCAJ's truly nasty-ugly responses to others. I've only rarely seen either contribute anything of substantive worth here. My judgment, based on what I've seen, is that both are just troubled, unhappy individuals using usenet to blow off a little hatred in a way less destructive... to them... than if they did it in RL. Not sure about he whose comment started this sub-thread. Some folks just don't have good social skills and are quick to jump to conclusions about others with inadequate data. HG <snip> > But the so-called "tough love" approaches tend to come from a few > folks here who appear to be fairly dysfunctional in terms of personal [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > others. I've only rarely seen either contribute anything of > substantive worth here. <snip> It is unfortunate, but you have hit on a real problem that exists in this newsgroup. While it is often times easy to mis-interpret someones tone or intent in a posting, this group appears to have an unuually large number of posters that are either mentally unstable or have cruel intentions. I say that it is unfortunate because it seriously detracts from the value of this forum. In no other group that I subscribe to are the name calling and degrading remarks so rampant. I also suspect that there are a lot of lurkers reading this group who would very much enjoy an intellectual discussion of the topics here, but refrain from posting because they believe it would be a waste of effort due to the responses they are likely to get. Even some of the nicer posters have a tendency to label anyone even a bit strange as a troll. It would help if they would be a little slower to jump to judgement. Often a poster who sounds strange is someone for whom English is not their primary language. It does no harm to give valid information in response to a query, even if the OP is a troll it may help some lurker. In news:1147089660.714268.273300@e56g2000cwe.googlegroups.com, Noway2 <no_spam_me2@hotmail.com> stated | It is unfortunate, but you have hit on a real problem that exists in | this newsgroup. While it is often times easy to mis-interpret [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] | topics here, but refrain from posting because they believe it would | be a waste of effort due to the responses they are likely to get. > <snip> >> But the so-called "tough love" approaches tend to come from a few [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > posting because they believe it would be a waste of effort due to the > responses they are likely to get. I see the same things over in alt.support.diabetes too. ;-( SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week > > While it is often times easy to mis-interpret someones > > tone or intent in a posting, this group appears to have an unuually [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > I see the same things over in alt.support.diabetes too. ;-( I see it in most of the groups I frequent and some of those are *far* worse than ASDLC. Noway2, are you referring to web fora and mailing lists as the other groups rather than other UseNet groups? UseNet has always been a harsh place in nearly every groups. Please don't confuse a culture that is common to most of UseNet and view it as only being on ASDLC. > I see it in most of the groups I frequent and some of those are > *far* worse than ASDLC. Noway2, are you referring to web [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > common to most of UseNet and view it as only being on > ASDLC. I was refering to ASDLC. The other groups I subscribe to are predominantly technically oriented, such as comp.dsp, and sci.electronics.embedded, which may explain the difference. I do agree that Usenet can be a harsh place and it can in those groups too, but in ASDLC, which is the only one of its kind that I subscribe, there is a noticable difference. I have subscribed to this group for almost three years and been at least an active lurker for the better part of that time. I have noticed that more often than not, if someone makes a statement that is unpopular, misinformed, or even outright erroneous, that the reaction is not to inform or correct them, but rather to insult the poster personally, calling them stupid, or worse. One example that quickly comes to mind is the comment in reference to Castkills that went something like "not being so swift on the uptake". That statement served only one purpose: to hurt her feelings and it was probably sucessfull. On top of that, when she attempted to express her feelings, she was told to "butch up". This is the same type of behavior that one sees from bullies on an elementary school playground and I find it disturbing that it should be so prevelant in this forum. Statements like that aren't being harsh, they are cruel and a detriment to the group as a whole. Personally, while I can't blame her for choosing to become a non active participiant I will admit that her input to this discussion forum is missed. >On top of that, when she attempted to express her > feelings, she was told to "butch up". This is the same type of > behavior that one sees from bullies on an elementary school playground > and I find it disturbing that it should be so prevelant in this forum. Funny you should say that, the person you are referring to is a teacher I think. ROFL!!! > Personally, while I can't blame her for choosing to become a non active > participiant I will admit that her input to this discussion forum is > missed. SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week Translated: I don't have the will to stay on the diet and I've gained 30 pounds. > There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking > for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > comments. Tell them to "F" off and put them in your killfile. You have as much right to be here as they do(if you want it). SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week > There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking > for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > comments. no man magi suda > Tell them to "F" off and put them in your killfile. You have as much right > to be here as they do(if you want it). [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > > comments. > no man magi suda no man magicians sweats ? hmmmmmm >> > There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking >> > for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >> > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain >> > comments. SignatureJoe W. T2 Nov '05 30mg Actos, 500mg Cinnamon, 80-100 carbs/day & 30 minute walk & BowFlex 3x/week |There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking |for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] |This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain |comments. Please read the comments I made today in the thread you started with the subject "New Employment Woes." It's very relative to your comments here. SignaturePeter > There are some really intelligent and nice people here. I was lurking > for a long time reading only the forum. I have decided to go back to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > This is not for sympathy but I just don't need to put up with certain > comments. Posting on UseNet requires a thick skin and the ability to be impersonal about yourself. Until you acquire the ability, lurking will be best for you. You put your heart out on your sleeve and reacted when folks discussed the issues you brought up. On UseNet folks don't just do strokes. > Posting on UseNet requires a thick skin and the ability to > be impersonal about yourself. Until you acquire the ability, > lurking will be best for you. You put your heart out on your > sleeve and reacted when folks discussed the issues you > brought up. On UseNet folks don't just do strokes. There are certain individuals, though, that appear to "get off" on being obnoxious, mean, and insenstive. These individuals also like to call others stupid or other simplistic names when they are not agreed in an attempt to bully others into accepting their point of view. Once you figure out, assuming you haven't already, who they are it makes it a lot easier to ignore their diatribe of small words. You need to also realize that just because some entity on usenet says something nasty doesn't mean it true, though they are undoubtedly wishing that you do believe what they say. > > Posting on UseNet requires a thick skin and the ability to > > be impersonal about yourself. Until you acquire the ability, [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > doesn't mean it true, though they are undoubtedly wishing that you do > believe what they say. On the other hand some say tough stuff that's true but you don't want to hear. And so it becomes a judgement call. Is it mean or just hard to hear? Discard everyone who tells you stuff you don't like and it rapidly gets to the point where you are ignoring the better advice. So check someone's history and make a judgement trying to be as objective as possible. And wasn't the thread from Catskills that had all the negative comments the one that was totally off topic anyway? When you start off topic threads about employment woes, I think I think you better be thick skinned enough to deal with some of what you can expect to get back on the newsgroups. >There are some really intelligent and nice people >here Also I am a new poster. As a diabetic I was primarily intererested learning how others created variety in their diets and increasing my knowledge about the nutritional values of foods. Use of the computer places voluminous resources at everyone's disposal. I had hoped this site might be just such a resource: an open sharing of experiences, observations, and new references: a discussion forum. With few exceptions, this has not been my overall experience at ASD. Only one repetitious position is allow; other views are readily met with nasty,insensitive and needlessly narrow comments. Possibly just too many Alpha dogs are posting at this time... For now I'm off and onto other areas. Thanks to those who were insightful and to those who weren't have a nice day. |
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