Everyone knows about the low carb meats, dairy products, vegetables and
fruits out there, but what many people don't know is that the condition
under which a food is supplied can affect the carb count.
Below is a list for newbies and old timers alike.  I think many will be
surprised and enlightened!

The following foods are either low carb/no carb...depending on your state of
denial.

1) Free Food.  When food is free, such as bagels or donuts left out in the
break room, the carb counts of such items approach zero.  If they cost
5-cents, the carbs would be in full effect.  But something related to
quantum physics and the irresistible urge to take advantage of a freebie
generates this unusual effect.

2) Samples.  Food samples given out in the mall or grocery store are zero
carb.  This is the result of the application of a toothpick or tiny plastic
spoon to otherwise high carb edibles.  Carbs are squared of these things and
run for the hills.  That, or the self-deceit that "a little won't hurt" that
creeps into the low carber's mind.  Pick whichever is more convenient.

3) Food On Special Occasions.  Whether it's a birthday, holiday, job
promotion, or you didn't pass away during the night, food eaten as a result
of a special occasion will pass through you without affecting your low carb
lifestyle.  This is a well documented fact.

4) Movie Theater Popcorn.  Under normal conditions, popcorn is fairly carby.
However, when popped by a teenager wearing a vest two sizes too small and
consumed in a darkened theater, the carbs vanish mysteriously.  This is
called the "cantus resistus the smellus"
effect.

5) Last Pieces.  It has been well documented that all the carbs in food
resides in the first 90% consumed.  This means that the last 10% is
carb-free.  That last piece of apple pie, scoop of ice cream, Rice Krispie
treat or bottom-of-the-can Spaghetti-O's dregs are fair game for the low
carb dieter.  If the last 10% has been half chewed already, then the food
will actually have a negative carb count.

6)  Food Eaten While Standing.  It is common knowledge that if you stand up
while eating -- especially if you stand at the open door of a food-
refridgeration unit -- the carbs, fat, calories, etc.  in the food that you
eat will have no effect on you physiologically.

7) Food Eaten Directly from the Container.  Handfuls of cereal eaten
directly from the box, leftover Chinese food picked at with a dirty fork, or
milk sipped from the container, are carb- and calorie-free.

8) Food Hand Fed to You.  Foods hand fed to you by an ardent lover are
depleted of applicable carbs due to the exposure to the pheromones.

DebH

And one should always remember that carbohydrates, like calories, are afraid
of heights. Therefore all foods laden with excessive quantities of
carbohydrates and/or calories should always be eaten while standing for the
obvious benefits.
(for those of us that are a bit slower, the carbs and cals are afraid of the
heights, get dizzy, and fall out of the food leaving us to enjoy without
quilt, as if I need an excuse to eat something)

Alan M