I don't feel I need outside encouragement at this point. In fact I've
told very few people (and then only by necessity) because I didn't want
to have people watching me in case I didn't do well? Yet I also feel
somewhat driven to get where I want to be without a lot of fuss and
notice? In fact the meetings are a bit corny for my taste, yet I think
I'll do better going to them than not.
What is surprising me (and admittedly I'm only on my 3rd week of WW) is
that it feels so GOOD, even just the few pounds I've lost so far.
So I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else. I hope I feel the same
way when my points drop and I want more food than allotted.
If you need outside affirmation, you should be getting a ton of that at
the meetings.

I think I understand your frustration. People are affraid to say something
about weight to an overweight person for fear of being misunderstood, or to
somehow offend.. bleeeeeeeeh it's dumb but it's true.. *sigh*

40 lbs is an awesome achievement!

One word of advice from someone who probably shouldn't give any... no matter
how tempting (and I know it is!!!! been there lady!) don't take your
frustration out on your husband.. he means well, and is most probably very
sincere... but if you turn him away when he's making an effort to be
supportive, he might just decide it's not a good idea...

My husband has been a rock in my weight loss/weight maintenance journey.
Always supportive always there, always ready to help, to try stuff.. you get
the picture.

That to me is the absolute core of my strength, I'm the one doing this, I'm
doing this for me, but having him there, with a good word, a sexy look, a
suggestion for healthy dinner when I would go astray is beyond gold..

I didn't know anybody, I started this on my first year in the States, I
barely spoke english!!! Value what you have, it could so easily slip away...

As for the other noticing, it'll come.. sometimes it takes a little longer..
grrr.. but it comes !!

Will~

Never be bummed about losing 40 pounds.  Rejoice and keep on trucking.  Just
think when everyone starts noticing you'll be over 40 pounds and they'll be
so shocked they'll wonder what was wrong with them that they didn't notice.
It will be your own personal joke.  See how far you can get before someone
notices... 40 pounds is REALLY impressive if it's 50 or 60 pounds you're
going to floor people.

Lynne

Hey a BIG congratulations on getting this far.....this is for you and you should feel fantastic about acheiving what you have so far and soon people will take note and go WOW OMG sometimes when people see you often it takes them a lot longer to realize too that something is changing although disheartening and also it could be as others have said they dont like to mention the weight thing........ Im sure they will notice and soon how wonderful you are starting to look as the new you takes shape....... don't get disheartened by others, this is for you.......
Shirley

Hey Everyone,

I guess I just need to vent tonight more then anything.  I started dieting
two and a half months ago, and so far I have lost 40 lbs.  I feel really good
about it but would like for family and friends to notice.  In the past I have
gone on diets that failed, so when I told everyone that this time I was
really going to do it....I don't think anyone really believed I would stay
with it.  I have started this diet out at 325 and now weigh 285.  It may not
seem like like much to most, but to me that 40lb weight loss so far has meant
the world to me.  I know I still have a long way to go to reach my goal, but
I am deternined to do it.
The frustrating part in all this is the lack of people noticing.  Some have
said that because I started out so big it takes a more significant loss to
really notice....but I say 40lbs is alot already.  I have dropped two dress
sizes since I started and still not one has said anything.  I realize some
people aren't comfortable with the subject, but I find it a bit wierd I guess
that NO ONE has said anything.  I guess I just feel like it would be
incouraging to have some one....anyone.....notice.  I say that and yet my
husband is the only one who has acknowledged how I look.  I love him for it,
but when no one else says a word it makes me think he is just trying to be
sweet and that frustrates him,  I think because he claims he really see's it.
I'm just bummed....am I crazy to feel this way?  Has anyone else out there
had a similar experience?.....it would be interesting to know how much weight
loss it takes for people to notice, and if anyone else has felt as I do some
days with this diet.  It's like the wind went out of your sail when you go to
an event, after a big weight loss and no one makes a mention at all.

Sincerely,

40 lbs lighter and bummed.

My leader said it took her 65 lbs before anyone said anything to her.
She is tall and carried her weight well - they simply didn't notice.

Hang in there...40 lbs it great!!  I am still hovering around the 10lb
mark and struggling for every pound lost.  It's encouraging for me to
read stories like yours.

-L.

Willow said most of it!  But I will say it does take more for folk to
notice the bigger you are.  My husband didn't really see much difference
until I'd dropped a couple of dress sizes.  Once I got the new, smaller
clothes, he noticed!  :)

Now I've lost 65 lbs and am almost at goal (and that's a REAL struggle
at the moment!), LOTS of folk have noticed.  It comes slowly.  The folk
who notice most are the ones you don't see every day.

for those who know you are dieting, they may not say anything because they
don't want to make you feel pressure, and for those who don't know you are
trying to lose they may think you are ill and don't want to bring it up.  if
your DH notices be grateful he still looks at you and be happy, I know it is
tough but losing weight also makes others uncomfortable if they need to
lose, as jealousy or guilt may come into play, welcome and good luck, Lee

In time they'll notice.  Just keep losing the weight.  At some point it'll
become obvious and someone will say something to you.

LW
Re-Start - 7/5/06 - 170lbs
Today - 155.5 lbs
Goal - 130 lbs
Height: 5'6" Female. Age: 61
Don't worry about what people think,
they don't do it very often.
===================================

In my case, I have a friend who, while she's sweet and I love her, went
absolutely bat-bonkers my first week when I'd lost a pound and a half.
She went on over and over about how she could see it, I already look
better and different, she's so proud of me, it's wonderful, I'm like a
totally different person.

I started off at 415lbs.  How do you notice a loss of even three pounds
at that weight?  And yet she was going on and on about how noticible it
was that I'd lost a pound and a half.  It really made me feel that she
was totally making it up, and I'd never be able to trust her judgement
about my weight loss.  It just sort of invalidated everything else she's
said since.

Now, I know I *have* lost a lot of weight, and I've dropped a couple
sizes, so of course she'd see it by now.  *I* see it by now.  But
really, it means much more when the quiet friend in the corner, who
didn't mention it at all until I'd lost 60lbs, and then just nodded and
said quietly 'yes, I can see it, especially in your face, you look much
better' than it ever has when the first friend says anything.  Because I
know that when he says it, he really means it.  She's just saying it to
be gushy.

So perhaps you've got that to look forward to, a few friends who really
mean it and are waiting to make sure they're right before they say
anything.  For my money, it's better than friends who gush over nothing.

-Tay

I started out at 275 and am now down to 187. That is minus 88 lb, over 30%
lost.

But people did not start mentioning or noticing it until I had lost 40 or 50
lbs - and that was a larger percentage loss than you have had so far. And
even then it was only a few people at first.

I think most people just see "big" or "regular" and not all the gradations
between.

Also, another thing to consider is this: even though YOU think about what
you look like a lot (which is natural), the fact of the matter is most
people are in their own world and really don't care that much about what you
look like and so really won't notice until the change is more obvious and
dramatic.

Just stick with it and people will eventually start to notice. Which feels
great!

doug

On 8/29/06 12:52 PM, in article 65798bf41e3aa@uwe, "tootsiewoo" <u25883@uwe>
wrote: