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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / August 2007

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Is it possible to feel better about yourself without losing weight?

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BodyImageStudy@googlemail.com - 30 Jul 2007 13:56 GMT
We are researching ways that people try to feel better about their
bodies. One obvious way is to try to lose weight, but there are many
negative side effects of losing weight including damage to self-esteem
when weight is put back on, plus the many adverse health effect
associated with 'yo-yo' dieting.

The alternative to trying to lose weight to make you feel better, is
to work with the feelings and perceptions you have of yourself, to
increase your self-esteem and feel happy with your body just the way
it is.

We would like to see how effective this second approach is, and to do
so we need your help!

At the University of Plymouth, UK we are running a study where we ask
people to try free self-help therapy designed to make you feel better
about yourself, for two weeks, and then tell us how you feel
afterwards. The great thing is the study can be done completely online
so anyone anywhere in the world with an Internet connection can take
part.

If you would like to take part, or you would like further information
visit:

www.psy.plymouth.ac.uk/onlineresearch/bodyimage

We really value your help and by contributing to this study you may
not only feel better about the way you look, but you will also help us
understand how best to help others who feel dissatisfied with their
bodies.

Many thanks...
po - 30 Jul 2007 17:49 GMT
> We are researching ways that people try to feel better about their
> bodies. One obvious way is to try to lose weight, but there are many
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
>
> Many thanks...

Just last week I was reading something that said that the so called yo yo
effect is not as bad as giving up on dieting entirely.

Addressing the original poster - what does it matter how you feel about
yourself if your body is being damaged by excessive weight? You may not feel
it as much when you're young, but eventually your knees and feet will suffer
from carrying excessive loads. Chances are you'll get injured more
frequently. Most of all other people will look down on you if you're fat.
Far as I know the opposite sex is much more likely to pass on you if you are
heavy. Then there are the problems of finding clothes when you're a hundred
pounds overweight and being uncomfortable even if you can get clothes. Extra
expense of the clothes and the food you'll need, the extra medical care
you'll need if you develop diabetes.

Of course society's attitude could change. People could be forced to be more
accepting by the politically correct police, but is that how they really
feel? Isn't that what counts?

It could be that in a few years obesity will be the norm, so maybe then
society will be naturally accepting. Maybe girls will dig fat guys, but
they'll probably be fat girls.
Bodyimage - 30 Jul 2007 20:41 GMT
Hi Po,

You make good points, all of which are very valid. If you are obese
then it is important to lose weight. Perhaps that was not clear from
my post. There are many people out there though, who's health is not
at risk due to their weight, but they still do not like how they look,
attempt to lose weight and spend a lot of time worrying about their
appearance.  Constantly thinking about how you look or worrying about
what others think about you can really damage self-esteem and lead to
depression. In some cases, attempting to diet may not be as helpful as
working with how you think and feel about your body. Of course we are
all individuals, and for some dieting may go well, and that is great.
This is just a chance to participate in a study, and to go through a
self-help workbook and let us know is you feel better about how you
look at the end of the process.

> <BodyImageSt...@googlemail.com> wrote in message
>
[quoted text clipped - 54 lines]
> society will be naturally accepting. Maybe girls will dig fat guys, but
> they'll probably be fat girls.
po - 30 Jul 2007 21:59 GMT
> Hi Po,
>
[quoted text clipped - 76 lines]
>> society will be naturally accepting. Maybe girls will dig fat guys, but
>> they'll probably be fat girls.

Yea. If you're only ten or fifteen pounds over the so called "ideal" it's
probably better to work on accepting that. For some reason I got the idea
that the original poster was 60 pounds overweight and just wanting to feel
better about always being that way.
determined - 30 Jul 2007 21:25 GMT
> We are researching ways that people try to feel better about their
> bodies. One obvious way is to try to lose weight, but there are many
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
>
> Many thanks...

Well, here's another perspective.  I had a baby about 19 months ago.  I
gained way more than I should have, and felt really terrible about myself.
My whole body image was just shot.  I needed to lose 50 lbs.  I really
obsessed over the weight, and finally lost it, and then some.  In fact, I
weigh less now than I have for close to 10 yrs.  And...  I still don't like
how I look.  I have been unhappy with my saggy belly skin, saggy boobs,
stretch marks, etc.  I have spent alot of time "hiding" in my clothes, but
just recently I got brave and started shopping for more fitted clothing.
I'm actually wearing somewhat stylish stuff now.  I went out and got a nice
hair cut and some highlights.  I got a facial, and I'm taking better care of
my skin.  Now, I feel pretty damned good about myself.

So, weight is definitely an issue for self-esteem.  But it's not the ONLY
issue.  Still, it's important to put health first.  But then you need to
have realistic expectations.  I'm not going to look like a model unless I
pay the big $$ for plastic surgery.  And, is it really worth it?  I am in
the best shape of my life.  That has to count for something.
em - 01 Aug 2007 05:25 GMT
>> We are researching ways that people try to feel better about their
>> bodies. One obvious way is to try to lose weight, but there are many
[quoted text clipped - 47 lines]
> pay the big $$ for plastic surgery.  And, is it really worth it?  I am in
> the best shape of my life.  That has to count for something.

Hey, girl, you rock!
dkw12002@yahoo.com - 31 Jul 2007 18:10 GMT
On Jul 30, 5:56 am, BodyImageSt...@googlemail.com wrote:
> We are researching ways that people try to feel better about their
> bodies. One obvious way is to try to lose weight, but there are many
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
>
> Many thanks...

On the other hand, if you aren't thoroughly discusted with yourself
for being fat, chances are a diet isn't going to work in the long run.
dkw
A Ross - 31 Jul 2007 19:24 GMT
> On the other hand, if you aren't thoroughly discusted with yourself
> for being fat, chances are a diet isn't going to work in the long run.
> dkw

Um...I don't believe that...I think one can be cognizant of the health
risks of being overweight and choosing to lose without being disgusted
with oneself.

I believe Chris B. is a valid example--and Chris, correct me if I'm
mistaken--but she never struck me as being unhappy or depressed or
lacking in self-esteem because of her weight. She considered herself to
be a smart person, a strong person, not a fat person.

So while many do lack self esteem and have a poor body image (even after
losing to goal), many others lose--and maintain--for very different,
healthy reasons.

Amy
168/115/...

Signature

Check it out!
http://www.tcfitnesschallenge.com/index.html

Chris - 01 Aug 2007 02:44 GMT
> In article <1185901821.192920.321...@k79g2000hse.googlegroups.com>,
>
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> --
> Check it out!http://www.tcfitnesschallenge.com/index.html

Glad I followed this thread, since I see I'm mentioned :-).  You're
absolutely right, Amy.  I was never disgusted with myself or otherwise
unhappy.  I had an extremely successful career, a happy marriage,
great friends, and a good life.  My values just emphasized intellect
and career accomplishment over appearance.  I was not particularly
self-conscious or unhappy with myself; for example, I was an
experienced and confident public speaker.  I knew I would be healthier
if I were less heavy but didn't spend a lot of time fretting about it
-- and I honestly didn't feel many health effects of being
overweight.  My path to weight loss started with joining a gym --
because I had an injury and wanted to do water aerobics to help with
rehab.  Once I got there I started doing other stuff.  Rather than
focusing on weight loss I focused on strength, and became a
competitive (and record-holding) weight lifter.  But at some point my
experience with my new circle of friends at the gym made me feel I
wanted overall fitness, not just strength.  And that's where the
weight loss started.  But I had a positive self-image when I was
heavy, just as I do now, because all along the way I have been living
in accordance with my values -- they've just evolved over time.

While I never felt any desperate need to lose weight, in some ways I
think that made the path easier.  I suppose it might have made it
easier for me to abandon it along the way, but I think it was helpful
that I didn't have a lot of emotional and self-esteem issues tied up
with it.  It was just a project that I undertook.  And it turned out I
really liked the way it was working out, so that motivated me to keep
it up :-).

Chris
262/130s/130s
A Ross - 02 Aug 2007 15:35 GMT
snip

> Glad I followed this thread, since I see I'm mentioned :-).  You're
> absolutely right, Amy.  I was never disgusted with myself or otherwise
[quoted text clipped - 26 lines]
> Chris
> 262/130s/130s

Thanks, Chris. I think that's what I find so interesting about your
"journey"--that weight loss was really a side trip rather than the
original destination. And that you have maintained that loss while
enjoying life to it's fullest is wonderful. I hope others get as much
motivation from your story as I have.

Amy
168/115/...

Signature

Check it out!
http://www.tcfitnesschallenge.com/index.html

Beverly - 03 Aug 2007 14:08 GMT
>> On the other hand, if you aren't thoroughly discusted with yourself
>> for being fat, chances are a diet isn't going to work in the long run.
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
> Amy
> 168/115/...

A few of us gained the weight while trying to improve our health.  I gained
my weight when I quit smoking.  I knew quitting often caused weight gain but
I was willing to exchange the cigarettes for a healthier life style and
concentrate on shedding the weight after I quit.  It took a year to lose the
40 pounds I gained and I've managed to keep it off since '96.  My goal to
become healthier also led to a healthier diet and regular exercise.
janice - 01 Aug 2007 09:21 GMT
>On the other hand, if you aren't thoroughly discusted with yourself
>for being fat, chances are a diet isn't going to work in the long run.
>dkw

Personally, I don't agree with that.  I think that one of the keys to
success is learning to love yourself, believing that your body is
worth taking care of, and so on -  whatever you weigh.  Being
disgusted with yourself just reinforces the downward spiral and tells
you you're worthless and not worth caring for.

janice
 
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