OK, folks. this is a joke to help us "lighten" up. Excuse me if you find it
off topic.

Sex and Food...

When you think of it, there are only two things people need. You got to
have
sex. You got to have food. That's it. You don't need clothing, shelter or
TV. Okay, maybe TV, but otherwise, it's sex and food.

But for some reason, some people think sex is dirty.
Maybe God was a Republican.

Somebody said, "All right, you want to propagate, go ahead, but only late
at
night, with all the doors closed, man on top, once a week, that's it."

But not only can you eat the charred decaying flesh of othermajor mammals,
you can do it in broad daylight and invite all your friends to watch: "Hey,
Chuck, why don't you come over on Sunday? We're going to kill a pig, cut
him
up, burn him, and eat him. Bring the kids, we'll have a hell of a time."

What if they had been switched around?

What if, through a simple twist of fate, sex was clean but food was dirty?
Our entire culture would change. Food would become a four-letter word.

When people got angry at you, they'd yell out "Oh yeah? Well, food you.
Suck
cheese you Popsicle slurper."

Punks in passing cars would flip you the fork.

Flashers would have pizzas strapped to their chests. "Oh my god. It's a
pepperoni."

Locker room talk would change. "Hey, man, how'd you do this weekend?"
"Two burgers and a bag of fries. Crinkle cut."

Garlic would be illegal in most Southern states. Supermarkets would check
I.D.'s and charge admission to the poultry section. Frederick's of
Hollywood
would feature peekaboo napkins and day-of-the-week paper plates. Foreplay
would be listed as a menu selection.

Vice squads would conduct raids on backyard barbecues. "All right, put down
your meat. Just back away from the buns, mister."

Vegetarians would be prohibited from becoming teachers and a lot of them
would move to the Bay Area. Hookers would become cooks.

You'd be accosted on street corners by plump ladies in Day-Glo aprons.
"Hey,
big boy, looking for a hot meal? Wanna crack some crab?"

Fudamental Christians would make meat and potatoes a religious tenet. Many
sexual positions would be found to be carcinogenic.

Parents would tell their children not to play with their food or they'll go
blind.

Kids would remember the first time their mother caught them marinating.