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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / March 2004reading can help ...
hi folks i was about to post a whinging self deflating story of why im having problems getting started on losing weight i started to read the group and came across hambugers before and after pics after 1 year ... now thats inspiring im about the same starting weight as hamburger and keep trying to lose weight and then keep rebounding back into a really daft and greedy feeding frenzy ... im fat because im greedy - its that simple for me, well ok, not simple ... as greedy is just a word and if i really think about it its comfort greed. i want it so much but at the same time i seem to have a major rebound after several days and then totally lose the plot for weeks on end. this has been happening for the last couple of years. so hows it go ... hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... >hi folks > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > >hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... Well, welcome, Nevje. The thing is, losing weight isn't going to work unless you really decide you want it. Otherwise, what's happening to you will happen: you will just give in to temptation after a few days. If you do really want to go for it, participating here will help. What sort of diet approach are you using? What is happening to make you go off the diet? Maybe we can help you find some solutions. Chris (of the female sort) 262/155/ (holding in 152-165 weight class) > >hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Chris (of the female sort) > 262/155/ (holding in 152-165 weight class) thats it though .... i do want it i start off well, i eat all the right things and sometimes i can go 1 week, other times 3 or 4 weeks but then i seem to lose the will for it - someone will ask me to go for a meal or somewhere i know i shouldnt go (food wise) and then thats it, will to stay on track is blown away and its like impossible to say no to anything .... this is definately a high addiction to food type of response and then it takes me a week or several weeks to build up the will again to stop me doing this .... at which point i hate me. >> >hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... >> [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] >and then it takes me a week or several weeks to build up the will again >to stop me doing this .... at which point i hate me. I think the problem here isn't so much that you eat a meal that's not on your diet, but that you can't get back to it. I think you need to allow yourself these occasional splurges without feeling like you've blown it and giving up. Just decide to splurge and feel good about yourself anyway because you've been doing great most of the time. Then just go back to doing great most of the time. I've lose 100+ pounds by doing great most of the time. I've averaged around one splurge meal a week during that time, with no guilt. Would I lose faster without it? Probably a bit, but I wasn't in a hurry. Chris 262/159/ (holding in 152-165 weight class) Hi Nevje and welcome to the group. I understand what you are going thru and I used to have the same problem. I am also emotionally addicted to the wrong types of food and it used to be easy for me to lose focus. It is all about making a choice, not will power. You have to choose to eat how you know you should. For me, it was realizing that I was turning 35, weighing nearly 300 lbs and being a smoker. I hit that wall where I knew I had to change. If I can do it, anyone can. I've lost 70+ lbs in 7 months, haven't smoked in 4+ months and currently exercise 4-5 days a week. A year ago, I would have not believed that I could do this or be this much healthier. What I use to motivate myself is realizing how good I am feeling. I WANT to feel better, I choose to make better choices. I also don't give up if I have a bad food day. I just get back to it the next day and not make myself feel bad. It won't be easy at first, but it gets easier. Best wishes to you and post often.. "nevje" <nevje@REMOVEyahoo.co.uk> wrote in message > i start off well, i eat all the right things and sometimes i can go 1 > week, other times 3 or 4 weeks but then i seem to lose the will for it - [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > and then it takes me a week or several weeks to build up the will again > to stop me doing this .... at which point i hate me. Try not to starve yourself too much next time... i > hi folks > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... > Try not to starve yourself too much next time... > > i yes, i guess for someone who's already got a handle on all of this and can control themselves its just that simple isnt it i dont starve myself, i eat what i call properly which is whole grain stuff, fruit, smaller portions of meat, i dont eat much bread, lots of veg's and salads .... and the daft thing is i really like most of the food and its refreshing and feels right, etc, etc .... and i usually lose 4 or 5 pounds the first week and then about 2 pounds a week after that .... (ive close to 150 pounds to lose overall so thats not too much) .... then i lose it and off to chocolate and munchie hell i go and when ive finished being a pig and get control back i cant believe how stupid ive been this cycle has been going on now for quite some time and if i carry on this way im gonna end up dead > > Try not to starve yourself too much next time... > > > > i > > yes, i guess for someone who's already got a handle on all of this and > can control themselves its just that simple isnt it Yes and No. People don't "control themselves" 100 percent of the time. People who can maintain their weight have learned to look at what triggers them to overeat and have put in place some coping mechanisms that help keep them on track and to return to a healthy way of fueling their bodies. People have different methods of turning things around for themselves, the important thing is that they have found something that works *for them*. For instance, eating a quart of ice cream in a sitting doesn't mean throwing away all the "good days" you have away. It might mean adding those extra calories to that weeks total and eating a bit lighter over the next few days. 3,500 calories to make a pound, so even eating 1,200 more calories than you should have adds up to only a third of one pound. Increase your physical activity and cut back a bit on your intake for the week and you are still busy losing or maintaining the weight. Same thing goes for even a week of poor choices. It takes a bit longer to get an entire week turned around, but it is surely worse to go a month or longer because you just tossed your plan out the window with the first poor choice you made. I eat whatever I please on vacation, but vacation only happens a few weeks out of the year. People can *learn* to put themselves back on track. Learning how to do this doesn't happen overnight and it is more difficult for some than for others. It is clearly difficult for you, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. > i dont starve myself, i eat what i call properly which is whole grain > stuff, fruit, smaller portions of meat, i dont eat much bread, lots of [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > that .... (ive close to 150 pounds to lose overall so thats not too > much) It sounds like you know how you *should* eat, so you have already learned something. > .... then i lose it and off to chocolate and munchie hell i go Don't demand perfection from yourself. Many of us visit "munchie hell" You can learn to make the visit to "munchie hell" shorter and the visits to "good fuel for my body" longer. You are in a process of forming new habits, new behaviors. Note the word "process". You will never be perfect, or even eat perfectly, it is too much to expect. and when > ive finished being a pig and get control back i cant believe how stupid > ive been Sure, it's "I feel stupid, fat, I'm a miserable excuse for a human being" "I don't have any willpower." Wonder how many people here have ever felt the same way? Lots! If you are eating emotionally and stuffing yourself past the point of being "full", sometimes eat alone and in secret, and feel totally out of control, you might want to consider the possibility that you are a binge eater. Even if you don't know *why* you are eating like this, doesn't mean it it not possible to *change* the behavior. Consider consulting a nutritionist/therapist who is experienced helping people who eat like this. You might be able to deal with this yourself, but having a "helper" of some sort can make the learning process go faster. Do a search on the term and see if you think it sounds like the way you eat. > this cycle has been going on now for quite some time and if i carry on > this way im gonna end up dead Correct, last I heard, life has a 100% mortality rate :) But if you mean you want to live longer with a body not riddled with diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, arthritis and such; then, yes, you should learn to be nice to yourself and give yourself good fuel to maintain your body in a state of health. You will look younger and have a new spring in your step. You deserve that. thanks for the comments motu, ignoramous, beverley and chris. i joined a club tonight and got weighed. they have weekly weigh ins and talks each week on various topics related to health, specifically mens health as its a male only club. weighed in at 339.5 pounds. today was my first day in a while where i have managed to stick to what i planned to eat and drink. im going to try and stay away from my triggers and plan my intake properly as thats where i was falling down quite badly before. i wouldnt plan things and would end up having something i shouldnt because of it. anyway, hopefully day one will become a habit - time will tell. 339.5/day one > thanks for the comments motu, ignoramous, beverley and chris. > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > 339.5/day one Good luck. Make sure to not undereat too much. i > Good luck. Make sure to not undereat too much. > > i thanks ... last couple days have had:- a cereal breakfast with a piece of fruit a tuna salad sandwich and couple pieces of fruit during the day evening meal and a piece of fruit switched to drinking water generally during the day with the odd cup of coffee without sugar when offered and some diet coke on the evening which seems to taste better since ive stopped eating sweet things (if you dont count the fruit as sweet that is) even better today i managed 15 minutes on the exercise bike after work which has been a clothes horse for several months. tomorrow morning before work im going swimming - it wont be strenuous - just a nice relaxing swim to try and get me moving around more > thanks for the comments motu, ignoramous, beverley and chris. > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > 339.5/day one Hopefully being part of a group will help give you a little more motivation to stick to your plan. Make sure your plan has enough calories and nutrients to make you feel satisfied and that will help a little with the urges. What's helped for me, though not always the best response, is to make sure I don't have access to the foods that would really wipe me out (more mentally than physically). If I do overeat, I cut back immediately with the next meal. When it comes to identifying triggers, a food log and journal might help. If I get really bad urges to overeat, I look back at what I had to eat earlier that day or even the night before. I also try to figure out what's going on my life that might be stressing me and what's coming up that I might be anxious about. I also take into account how much sleep I've had (less sleep usually means more food cravings). Those are the triggers I have identified that are not related to my female hormone cycles. Take it one day at a time and remember that there is no reason to completely give up if you slip a little. Good luck. Jenn > Hopefully being part of a group will help give you a little more motivation > to stick to your plan. Make sure your plan has enough calories and [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > (more mentally than physically). If I do overeat, I cut back immediately > with the next meal. im the sort to just drive somewhere and buy a load of food and fill up on it ... i know its stupid but at the time i do it it doesnt matter, in fact nothing seems to disuade me - i can even plan my diet whilst sitting there eating a whole load of food - its absurd when i look at it when thinking straight > When it comes to identifying triggers, a food log and journal might help. > Take it one day at a time and remember that there is no reason to completely > give up if you slip a little. > Good luck. > Jenn my trigger is my mind ... just tells me i want donuts, or chocolate, or cake, or savoury snacks, or .... the list is endless anyway, im at end of day two and have kept to my plan of what i was eating and drinking for 2 days in a row ... seems a tiny thing to string 2 days together on plan but it feels like an achievement at the moment The first step is the hardest (at least for me). I would suggest also seeing a nutritionist or counselor of some sort to help you become accountable. > thanks for the comments motu, ignoramous, beverley and chris. > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > 339.5/day one > The first step is the hardest (at least for me). I would suggest also > seeing a nutritionist or counselor of some sort to help you become > accountable. its all down to me to stop what im doing to myself and sitting in front of some stranger prying into my background isnt my idea of help but i can see where your coming from, out of the two id prefer the nutritionist but i know i wont go see one. my problem is i know how to do it, i just havent been able to keep the mindset for various reasons which all boil down to me being an idiot. anyway, this is end of day 3 which has seen me keep on plan and do 15 minutes of exercise bike this morning and 15 minutes tonight. i planned to go swimming this morning but replaced it with the bike as the weather was awful and didnt fancy the drive in it. >> The first step is the hardest (at least for me). I would suggest also >> seeing a nutritionist or counselor of some sort to help you become [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >go swimming this morning but replaced it with the bike as the weather was >awful and didnt fancy the drive in it. It sounds like you are making a good starting effort. Keep up the good work >its all down to me to stop what im doing to myself and sitting in front of >some stranger prying into my background isnt my idea of help but i can see [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >go swimming this morning but replaced it with the bike as the weather was >awful and didnt fancy the drive in it. I've been reading this thread and want you to know that you aren't alone. Many people go through the same struggles you have gone thru. One thing that comes to mind is this. (speaking from personal experience here). You know you need to cut calories to lose weight. But, you don't have to cut them to extremes. Have you tried calorie counting? Tracking the exact amount of food to determine how much you are eating in a day. What happens to some people is, they cut calories drastically in an effort to lose weight and see the scale move on a daily basis. But, after a few days the body revolts against the extreme low calories and causes the cravings to kick in. They end up binging. Its kinda like the body saying "hey, don't starve me". Whereas, some people find more success making a few small changes and cutting back on the calories in a much smaller manner. Yes, the weight loss isn't as fast or drastic, and daily weighing will only cause frustration. But in the long run they have fewer days of binging. Another technique that people use are "scheduled re-feed days". In the low calorie aspect, it is designating one day a week, or 1 day every couple of weeks where you allow yourself to eat more. Some people increase their food by adding in an extra salad w/ grilled meat, while others use this opportunity to indulge in something sweet or indulge in a craving. THe key is to 1. not over indulge or go over board and 2. to get right back on track the next day or even the next meal. Keep reading and you'll find lots more information here. > > The first step is the hardest (at least for me). I would suggest also > > seeing a nutritionist or counselor of some sort to help you become [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > go swimming this morning but replaced it with the bike as the weather was > awful and didnt fancy the drive in it. ***We all know what we should do... but where we fail is in how to implemet real life changes. Just knowing what you need to do doesn't mean that you know how to do it properly. A nutritionist will help with that. You are on the right track and posting with people who know where you are coming from and have been there many times before (me!) You offer a lot of wise and sound advice. "motu2467" <someone@somewheres.com> wrote in message > Don't demand perfection from yourself. Many of us visit "munchie hell" You > can learn to make the visit to "munchie hell" shorter and the visits to [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > sort can make the learning process go faster. Do a search on the term and > see if you think it sounds like the way you eat. ***I saw a psychologist that specialized in eating disorders for a few months and it helped me put things into perspective! I am also a binge eater that isn't cured, but under control now. > > this cycle has been going on now for quite some time and if i carry on > > this way im gonna end up dead [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > fuel to maintain your body in a state of health. You will look younger and > have a new spring in your step. You deserve that. >> Try not to starve yourself too much next time... >> >> i > > yes, i guess for someone who's already got a handle on all of this and > can control themselves its just that simple isnt it Well, I am an overeater and a naturally fat person in remission. If I ate all I wanted, I would regain my weight in maybe 4 months. So, unfortunately, I cannot eat all I want. That's the sad reality. Right now, I have eaten my lunch and breakfast and would like to have a bagel with milk and cream cheese. But I know that it would be too much for me. Contrast this with naturally thin people, who do not want to eat once they are full. So, it is not that "simple" too me, although it is not painfully difficult. I am not horrifyingly hungry right now. Certain gimmicks help me personally. For example, I do not eat past 6pm. I lowered my carbs. To not succumb to "munchie hell", I gave up all sweetened food and junk food. It has been 9+ months already, and I no longer miss it. > i dont starve myself, i eat what i call properly which is whole grain > stuff, fruit, smaller portions of meat, i dont eat much bread, lots of > veg's and salads .... and the daft thing is i really like most of the > food and its refreshing and feels right, etc, etc .... which is great. How much of this food do you eat, calorie wise? >and i usually > lose 4 or 5 pounds the first week and then about 2 pounds a week after > that .... (ive close to 150 pounds to lose overall so thats not too > much) okay, that's great. > .... then i lose it and off to chocolate and munchie hell i go and when > ive finished being a pig and get control back i cant believe how stupid > ive been Read this article to see if it rings any bell: http://www.geocities.com/jenny_the_bean/offplan.htm > this cycle has been going on now for quite some time and if i carry on > this way im gonna end up dead That's true. Have you had your blood sugar tested, including glucose sensitivity? Just curious. The standard suggestion, which works for numerous people, is to never eat foods that make you lose control. i Welcome to ASD, Nevje. How about making gradual small changes? It's often over whelming to make a drastic change in our eating and exercise routines. The changes are something you'll need to continue for life if you want to lose and keep it off. Stick around - you'll find lots of information and support. Beverly > hi folks > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > hi, im a fat guy and i need help .... > Welcome to ASD, Nevje. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Beverly Hi, nevje Here's a plan for gradually changing your eating habits http://www.dolfzine.com/page590.htm You might look at it and see if it would help. One other thing that you might want to check out are those keys on the left and right side of your keyboard marked "Shift". They make the lower case letters upper case. When you start a sentence the first letter of the first word is supposed to be upper case. Also, just to the right of the "Enter" key is a key with " and '. The ' is used in words like "I've", "I'm" and "don't". HTH Tonia > One other thing that you might want to check out are those keys on the left > and right side of your keyboard marked "Shift". They make the lower case > letters upper case. When you start a sentence the first letter of the first > word is supposed to be upper case. Also, just to the right of the "Enter" > key is a key with " and '. The ' is used in words like "I've", "I'm" and > "don't". Thank you. I was feeling too curmudgeonly so I didn't mention it. But since you brought it up, I'm going to advocate for the extra exercise that comes from spelling out the word "you". Dally > One other thing that you might want to check out are those keys on the left > and right side of your keyboard marked "Shift". They make the lower case [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Tonia ive quite a few ideas of what id prefer to do with a keyboard and your good self. i cant quite believe you are so sad as to complain about someones grammer. its difficult enough opening up to such a public forum even if its fairly anonymous. life must be so full for you seeing as the newsgroups offer you an enormous potential for this sort of thing. so please take your irrelevant sh.t off somewhere it may matter. > so please take your irrelevant sh.t off somewhere it may matter. In this forum we communicate via words. How you speak *is* how you are to us. We tell people coming here that we spell out words ("you" instead of "u", for example), but no one grades for spelling or typos or the occasional grammatical error. But your use of contractions without punctuation is hard to read, and your convention of not using capital letters is hard to parse. Why would you choose to not use the conventions of the language being used in the room? What's in it for you? Is it a fashion statement? You're going for the illiterate lazy look for some reason? Or is it a sophisticated thing, like e. e. cummings, where you figure you're special enough to warrant the extra effort? Look, we're about substance here, but it's not asking too much that you conform a bit to some conventions designed to make you more understandable. At least you didn't top-post. Dally > In this forum we communicate via words. How you speak *is* how you are > to us. We tell people coming here that we spell out words ("you" > instead of "u", for example), but no one grades for spelling or typos or > the occasional grammatical error. and words i have used. if you dont like my manner or how i write then move on, its that simple. > Look, we're about substance here, but it's not asking too much that you > conform a bit to some conventions designed to make you more understandable. considering the many genuine responses, i would guess ive been understood by many and appreciate the time taken to reply. what i dont appreciate is someone deciding they are a netcop and trying to enforce their own petty ideas of how things should be done. but hey, if thats what you want to do go ahead and waste your own time. > At least you didn't top-post. you really do have issues, maybe you should find a forum for them. >> so please take your irrelevant sh.t off somewhere it may matter. > [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > >Dally Not that I'm defending Nevje here or not.. I'm not taking sides here. But, if we are going to pass judgement on people's typing techniques, then why is it nobody ever says anything to rosie about her posting style? I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our own ligo abbreviations (asd, mfw, wol, woe, imho, fwiw, and many more). Also, I for one, don't use spell check, as the version with agent has never worked right for me and usually I don't want to take the time to fumble w/ spell check for a ng posting. I do try to capitalize and punctuate properly (although I know I get my . in the wrong place when using "quotes ". ) :-) But, FFS - why not ignore the lack of punctuation and capitalization and focus on the needs of the person posting. It would be one thing if his messages were unclear because of poor grammar (bsneap's posts). But Nevje's posts are clear, dispite the improper punctuations. > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our > own ligo abbreviations (asd, mfw, wol, woe, imho, fwiw, and many > more). My keyboard here at work is messed up so that it usually ignores space characters that I type after capital letters. So, the result is numerous typos such as "Iwant" etc. i >> I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the >> abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >i My keyboard (or my typing skills) will commonly cause me to double capitalize some words. And then there are days like today where my fingers don't want to type well at all. The above sentence was corrected probably a dozen times as I typed it. Ya know those times when you think faster than you type and you end up typing the wrong words. :-) sh.t happens. >>My keyboard here at work is messed up so that it usually ignores space >>characters that I type after capital letters. So, the result is [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > sh.t happens. Yup. And the "netcop" in me pays no attention to it. It's just when a new person comes and deliberately, obviously flaunts convention it seemed worth pointing out that his lack of punctuation (and capitalization) makes him needlessly annoy people. His response was to f.ck off, that he was going to annoy whoever he wanted. Fair enough. As long as we all know where we stand. I don't need to be a netcop. I am perfectly capable of ignoring his posts. I just don't really see why he'd aim for that. Dally > Yup. And the "netcop" in me pays no attention to it. It's just when a > new person comes and deliberately, obviously flaunts convention it [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Dally look, if you are going to tell people what my response was then get it right. the only time i used colourful language was in this line:- "so please take your irrelevant sh.t off somewhere it may matter." if you choose to interpret what i said as f.ck off that is your choice. i didnt say/write it. > > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the > > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > i I was having the same problem with my keyboard - the space bar wasn't working properly. I called the help desk yesterday afternoon and I had a new keyboard when I arrived this morning. Do you have a help desk or maintenance department? >> > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the >> > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > new keyboard when I arrived this morning. Do you have a help desk or > maintenance department? Well, it is a bit more complicated than that. It is, strictly speaking, not a keyboard issue. It only happens when I type text in an Exceed/W kterm window. It does not happen in, say, xemacs editor that is a windows program. Only in exceed. So a help desk would not be of much help, unfortunately. i > >> > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the > >> > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > i I guess it would depend on your helpdesk. I don't know what I would do without ours. They handle everything. We just call, tell them the problem and they find the right group to solve our problems - hardware, software, etc. >> >> > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so > the [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > and they find the right group to solve our problems - hardware, software, > etc. Well, we do not have a "helpdesk" here, but we do have a few techs. Anyway, we are responsible for administering our machines, for the most part. I personally think that it is a bug in kterm, what happens is that I press SHIFT, then a capital letter, then space, and only then I release SHIFT. More intelligent programs recognize that I mean a space character, but KTerm does not recognize SHIFT-Space. i >> > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the >> > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >new keyboard when I arrived this morning. Do you have a help desk or >maintenance department? but,. aren't you the boss of the help desk? :-) My keyboard (or mouse) doesn't work, I go to the closet and get a new one. But, if an employee drops their coffee and destoys their keyboard, it may be a few days before I can "order" one. Hey - drink and type.. you'll pay. :-) <eg > >> > I can certainly understand the fact that we aren't a chat room so the > >> > abbreviations like gr8 and u aren't real common. But we do have our [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > but,. aren't you the boss of the help desk? :-) Hey...did you forget I'm a mainframer? I can barely spell PC <g> I have one of the pc guru's come to the house when I have a problem or call one of my kids when something happens to the one at home. We have a warehouse full of equipment so they just had to get it shipped over here....about 3 blocks. With 3,000+ pc's on campus they better have a spare keyboard. Mine was probably full of cracker crumbs...... I have a lid on my coffee so it's been a long time since I spilled any liquids on one. At least the new one is a lot quieter than the old one. |
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