LOVED IT!

Hilarious.

Rebecca

Well, I've got a little bit of "willpower" because I'm off to the gym now
*after* reading his useless but extremely funny column.

Tonia

Excellent!

Some years ago, I wrote this for a minor publication....
---------------
Baby boomers, children of the sixties, stood together in protest of an
upopular and unjust war.  Today many of these same people find themselves
engaged in a war on a more personal front.  This battle is fought daily at a
terrible cost, seldom resulting in more than minor victories.  It's time we
stood again in protest of war, raising our voices in song and giving the
world our message:  DIETERS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THIN!

With apologies to (the late) John Lennon and Paul McCartney:

Stomp, CLAP! Stomp, CLAP!  Stomp, CLAP!  Stomp, CLAP!

Two, one two three four
Everybody's talking about
Low fat, no fat, don't eat this and don't eat that,
Diet, try it,
If you hate it buy it, fly it,
All we are saying is give grease a chance.
All we are saying is give grease a chance.
C'mon

Everybody's talking about
Eating lettuce daily, gayly, palely,
Stay away from gravy, tasty pastry,
Junk food and gunk food,
All we are saying is give grease a chance.
All we are saying is give grease a chance.

Let me tell you now
Never touch the cheeses, Reeces Pieces,
Anything that greases, pleases, teases,
Bacon, flakin', any food forsaken,
Steak, Shake 'n Bake, takeout and fakeout,
All we are saying is give grease a chance.
All we are saying is give grease a chance.

Hare Crisco.