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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / June 2004Doing better
It's been really great to start reading and posting again -- thanks again to my special friend who let me know that ASD was wondering about me. Accountability is very important and so is responding to others who are struggling -- and there's really no better place for that than here. I just wish I didn't have to be sitting down to do it, LOL. I want to be able to garden and post at the same time, for example. :-) I've still had some trouble with not eating snack foods -- I don't know exactly why I wanted to start eating stuff again that I wouldn't have touched a few months ago -- mainly the sugarfree snack foods. It helps to remember that eating for recreation's sake (eating just for the sake of eating because it tastes good) is what got me into so much trouble in the first place. Eating for nutrition can be very delicious-- and actually preferable to the junky processed packaged crap. I just need to remember that -- and to have a very well prepared refrigerator and cupboard. This week I want good judgment to prevail when making my food choices. I've done it before very happily and I just need to remember that making good choices *is* what makes me happy. Eating crap and thinking it's making me happy is a cruel illusion that I cannot fall for again. I have come too far for that. Mary M 325-156-145 > It's been really great to start reading and posting again -- thanks > again to my special friend who let me know that ASD was wondering [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > it, LOL. I want to be able to garden and post at the same time, for > example. :-) There is no better support place than this NG... > I've still had some trouble with not eating snack foods -- I don't > know exactly why I wanted to start eating stuff again that I [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > making me happy is a cruel illusion that I cannot fall for again. I > have come too far for that. I personally know that I cannot handle junk food in anything but trivial quantities. (like tasting a "potato chip" that my wife wants me to taste.) can't have it, don't miss it... in a couple of days, it will be exactly one year since I gave it up... Regarding mindless recreational food snacking. I have to admit to doing it. I like chewing on stuff. What I eat recreationally is vegetables like tomatoes and little peppers from Sam's club, cauliflower and whatnot (all raw). I go through a few pounds of that stuff in a day. Maybe it will help you? i > I personally know that I cannot handle junk food in anything but > trivial quantities. (like tasting a "potato chip" that my wife wants > me to taste.) can't have it, don't miss it... in a couple of days, it > will be exactly one year since I gave it up... That is wonderful -- one year is a great milestone, and you have something to be very proud of. And you know, I just passed the two-year milestone of having started to see my nutritionist, and there are plenty of foods I haven't eaten in those two years that used to be my "favorites." For many of those foods, I went a year and a half before eating them again (and I mean *tasting* in most instances)-- so perhaps I mistakenly began seeing my efforts as part of a "daily grind" and I need a mental/emotional tune-up. Positive thinking is the most important part of my weight loss success -- as they say in Overeaters Anonymous "Every binge begins with a negative thought." That's one of the major revelations I learned in OA even though I no longer attend meetings. > Regarding mindless recreational food snacking. I have to admit to > doing it. I like chewing on stuff. What I eat recreationally is > vegetables like tomatoes and little peppers from Sam's club, > cauliflower and whatnot (all raw). I go through a few pounds of that > stuff in a day. Maybe it will help you? You know, I used to do that and it's a great idea to start up again, especially now that all my favorite produce is coming into season. Because I do like "chewing on stuff" too -- and there's nothing better than vegetables for that -- and they are allowed in unlimited quantities on my food plan. Thanks for the reminder! Mary M mary, HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED, SICK! could be the reason for any changes in our lives!  Signaturerosie http://interactive.lwv.org/News/News.cfm?ID=1192&c=1 : It's been really great to start reading and posting again -- thanks again to my : special friend who let me know that ASD was wondering about me. Accountability is [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] : Mary M : 325-156-145 Thanks for the reminder, Rosie! They could also substitute "Scared" for "Sick" because I think I also use / have used food to comfort fears. Thanks for giving me something to think about and remember. Mary M > mary, > HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED, SICK! [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > : Mary M > : 325-156-145 Mary, I just feel so like you! I have SLOWLY gotten to another 'phaze' of this 'changing myself forever' and it is hard but WE can and will do ths! As you may remember I was 260 + about 20 years ago and I will NEVER go back to the pain of that body! Your thread reminds me of those days and it gives me new strength that I needed!!! You are so worth reading:)) thanks for dropping by here again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glo Size 24/ 14/12 Hi, Glo -- You are right -- it is a long process psychologically as well as physically. It is hard to remember that this whole thing takes a daily commitment (or re-commitment) because it is just too easy to slide back into old mental and physical habits or behaviors. And you are also right in that it is hard but we can and will do this! Thanks, Glo-- Mary > Mary, I just feel so like you! I have SLOWLY gotten to another 'phaze' > of this 'changing myself forever' and it is hard but WE can and will do [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Size 24/ 14/12 Eating crap and thinking it's making me happy is a cruel illusion that I > cannot fall for again. I have come too far for that. > > Mary M > 325-156-145 That line alone says it all, that line and your numbers.. just LOOK at them and realize the hard work, dedication, organization, emotional stress it took to get there. Those numbers are INCREDIBLE for me to read. You've lost an entire person when you shed the 170 or so lbs. Let "her" eat the crap. Not you. Susan(who hopes to shed her fat person soon too) 260/192/140 > Eating crap and thinking it's making me happy is a cruel illusion that I > > cannot fall for again. I have come too far for that. > > > > Mary M > > 325-156-145 > That line alone says it all, that line and your numbers.. just LOOK at > them and realize the hard work, dedication, organization, emotional [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Susan(who hopes to shed her fat person soon too) > 260/192/140 Thanks very much, Susan! I think you have hit on a very interesting and useful psychological tool that I can use (and believe me I need all the mental tricks I can get, LOL). It stopped me dead in my tracks to think of the "Old Mary" chowing down on packaged processed junk I might be considering eating today, and to see what she looked and felt like. Just thinking of it made me feel utter revulsion at the thought of "New Mary" eating that stuff. One thing I did learn from Dr. Phil before he completely turned me off with his product hawking was that when you get far away enough from the original pain of being overweight, it is harder to stay on track because you aren't as motivated to move away from that pain. And now that it's been two years since I weighed 228 (and 19 years since I weighed 325) -- the memory of the original pain is fading a bit -- so I just need to learn how to summon it up as needed! All I have to remember is that I was over 200 lbs. for 22 years (despite many many many many many efforts to get to goal weight) and that's exactly where my old habits are going to get me -- back over 200 lbs. Thanks again, Susan, and you are doing great. What a thrill to get under 200, eh? I hope you bought yourself a lovely and expensive reward for reaching that mini-goal -- I know I sure did! Mary M > It's been really great to start reading and posting again -- thanks again to my > special friend who let me know that ASD was wondering about me. Accountability is [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > Mary M > 325-156-145 Ignore the first post - fingers were working faster than the brain<g> It's good to see you postin again. Many of us seem to be in 're-deication mode' at the moment. I recently started back to WW meetings because I felt I needed the accountability. Weighing in each week seems to keep me on track. Beverly > It's good to see you postin again. Many of us seem to be in 're-deication > mode' at the moment. I recently started back to WW meetings because I felt > I needed the accountability. Weighing in each week seems to keep me on > track. I can already tell the difference in my mental state, and that is the building block on which all my other success hinges (really bad mixed metaphor there!). It is easy to get off track but I also need to remember that it is easy to get back on too! I'm glad you are doing well at WW with your accountability. Thanks for your support, Bev! Mary >It's been really great to start reading and posting again -- thanks again to my >special friend who let me know that ASD was wondering about me. Accountability is [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >Mary M >325-156-145 It's good to see you posting here again Mary, and I'm so glad you're back but not, of course, glad about the reasons for this. I can tell that you have a lot of insight into the issues, and what you need to do. Now's the time to draw on the reserves of wisdom you've gained during your weight loss journey. I think your remark about eating crap is a keeper - how true that is! janice > It's good to see you posting here again Mary, and I'm so glad you're > back but not, of course, glad about the reasons for this. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > you've gained during your weight loss journey. I think your remark > about eating crap is a keeper - how true that is! Thanks, Janice! I am already feeling so much better and in the right frame of mind. It really helps to have people like you to "talk" with -- people who have been where I've been and who *truly understand* the issues and behavior. I'm glad you're here! Mary >I've still had some trouble with not eating snack foods -- I don't know exactly why Mary, It's not only junk food, it's all food. I can tell you from personal experience that you can gain massive amounts of weight eating "healthy" if you eat enough food. When you are happy with the way you look and feel, that original motivation to do anything necessary to dig yourself out of the hole is gone. A lot of people find themselves in trouble at that time, and it's a major reason for recidivism. What helped me when I lost the weight for the last time 6 1/2 years ago is I always remember that even though I'm normal weight now, I'm not a "normal weight person", but a "reduced obese person". The same rules don't apply to us as people who've never been overweight. Now that it's been many years, I don't usually tell folks I used to be fat, but I also know that what I have to do to stay normal weight is much more than most of the rest of my thin friends. For me if I stick to a vigorous exercise routine, food just takes care of itself. But when I've had to cut back, like when Marty was sick and dying, I had to pay a lot more attention to what I eat. And it was very tough to do with my entire life falling apart around me. But I knew grief would suck even more than it does now if I was 210 pounds, so I decided not to go there. So grief sucks, but at least I look good <G>. Hang in there, Barbara 210/124 since November 1997 Barbara Hirsch, Publisher OBESITY MEDS AND RESEARCH NEWS The latest in obesity research and weight loss drug development http://www.obesity-news.com/ ... > When you are happy with the way you look and feel, that original > motivation to do anything necessary to dig yourself out of the hole is > gone. A lot of people find themselves in trouble at that time, and > it's a major reason for recidivism. I can truly relate to this and it's the one lesson that has stuck from watching Dr. Phil's weight loss things a few years ago. > What helped me when I lost the weight for the last time 6 1/2 years > ago is I always remember that even though I'm normal weight now, I'm > not a "normal weight person", but a "reduced obese person". The same > rules don't apply to us as people who've never been overweight. Thank you so much, Barbara. You are so right about having to remember that I'm a "reduced obese person" -- the funny thing is that I still feel like I have these "ghost pounds" attached -- that people can look at me and see what I used to look like -- I need a lot more time at this weight for things to truly sink in and have "normal weight" feel normal. It still feels like I'm on very shaky ground (which I guess I am). Not that I feel like I would rather be over 200 lbs because it feels normal to me -- far from it -- I hated it, but this feels in a way like a dream come true that can be snatched away at any time. I also know logically that that's not true -- that I have control over whether I stay at this weight (and I am determined to do so). But I still find myself reluctant to sit in delicate chairs, for example -- or still saying to myself that I'm "too fat" to do something or wear something before I realize that no, I'm not. > Now that it's been many years, I don't usually tell folks I used to be > fat, And this is something else I struggle with -- in some strange way I feel I'm being dishonest with people if I don't tell them. Logically I know that I have no obligation to tell them. >but I also know that what I have to do to stay normal weight is > much more than most of the rest of my thin friends. Aaa-men to that! I have to do much more too! But that's OK -- I just have to remain willing to do it. > For me if I stick to a vigorous exercise routine, food just takes care > of itself. But when I've had to cut back, like when Marty was sick and [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > so I decided not to go there. > So grief sucks, but at least I look good <G>. I think it's very admirable that you didn't give in to the temptation to wallow in food to help with the grief -- because grief can have that component of wanting to try to fill up a great big Grand Canyon in your life -- and when grief hit me at age 18 I did try to fill it up with food (not realizing what I was doing) and that's how I originally got to 325 lbs. I know it's too soon for you to be feeling much better, but I do hope that you can find some comfort and get some relief from the pain, even if only for short periods of time for now. Thanks so much for your response, Barbara. Mary that was a beautiful post i enjoyed reading it Angie > ... > > When you are happy with the way you look and feel, that original [quoted text clipped - 53 lines] > > Mary I'm not sure that it matters, but thought I'd clarity a few things. >Thank you so much, Barbara. You are so right about having to remember that I'm a >"reduced obese person" -- the funny thing is that I still feel like I have these >"ghost pounds" attached -- that people can look at me and see what I used to look >like -- I need a lot more time at this weight for things to truly sink in and have >"normal weight" feel normal. Being a "reduced obese person" doesn't have much to do with physiological stuff. It surrounds the metabolic changes that occur in your body. Once you lose the weight, it is generally harder to reach as low a body fat level as folks who've never been obese. That doesn't mean it can't happen, but it's harder to be a "hard body". How you feel about your body has more to do with if you grew up obese, or were obese for a long time. If that is the case, it could take your mind a while to catch up to your new shape. In my case, I grew up normal weight, and in very good physical condition, being that I was a competitive gymnast in high school. If anything, I had the reverse problem, I saw myself as fit and thin even when I clearly wasn't. >And this is something else I struggle with -- in some strange way I feel I'm being >dishonest with people if I don't tell them. Logically I know that I have no >obligation to tell them. Not really. we all pick and choose what we're going to tell people. You probably don't share stories about your sex life, tell others intimate details of your finances. Same thing about your body weight. It might be a story, but that doesn't mean you have to tell it. And quite frankly, most people don't want to know anyway. >I think it's very admirable that you didn't give in to the temptation to wallow in >food to help with the grief -- because grief can have that component of wanting to >try to fill up a great big Grand Canyon in your life Fortunately, that's never been a problem of mine. I lost ten pounds that I didn't have to lose after Marty died. I don't put down the loss as my "new body weight" because I'm trying to gain it back. And I've already put 6 pounds back on eating healthy and strength training. I don't want to be putting on body fat I want to regain all that LBM I lost. My problem with healthy eating occurred when Marty was critically ill. I never was a stress eater, but when you're limited to vending machines, or restaurants without the best choices, it's harder to keep the weight under control. I managed to avoid most of the pitfalls by packing cans of high-protein Boost, and getting out to eat a decent meal at lunch every day. There's nothing that's ever going to fill up that Grand Canyon in my life created by Marty's death. Eventually other activities will avert my attention, and to some extent this has already occurred. Even if I fall in love and marry someone else some day, I will always miss Marty and it will bother me to the day I die that he had to suffer so much. Every time I think about that, I could skip eating for a week. But I make sure not to do that. Barbara 210/124 since November 1997 Barbara Hirsch, Publisher OBESITY MEDS AND RESEARCH NEWS The latest in obesity research and weight loss drug development http://www.obesity-news.com/ Barb, I also think of myself as a "temporarily slim fat person". I will stay slim for as long as I am on a diet, but as soon as I go off the diet and start eating ad libitum, I will start gaining weight quickly. i > Barb, I also think of myself as a "temporarily slim fat person". I > will stay slim for as long as I am on a diet, but as soon as I go off > the diet and start eating ad libitum, I will start gaining weight > quickly. Why is it a "diet" ? Signaturejmk in NC >> Barb, I also think of myself as a "temporarily slim fat person". I >> will stay slim for as long as I am on a diet, but as soon as I go off >> the diet and start eating ad libitum, I will start gaining weight >> quickly. > > Why is it a "diet" ? Diet means `` To eat according to prescribed rules; to eat sparingly; as, the doctor says he must diet.'' So, I am on a diet. i >>>Barb, I also think of myself as a "temporarily slim fat person". I >>>will stay slim for as long as I am on a diet, but as soon as I go off [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > i So you have not accepted this as the way that you plan to eat permenantly? Signaturejmk in NC >>>>Barb, I also think of myself as a "temporarily slim fat person". I >>>>will stay slim for as long as I am on a diet, but as soon as I go off [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > So you have not accepted this as the way that you plan to eat permenantly? I accepted that I need to be on a diet permanently. I have to watch what I eat and how much, or else I will regain weight. i Ignoramus wrote: > I accepted that I need to be on a diet permanently. I have to watch > what I eat and how much, or else I will regain weight. hmmmm So you don't eat this way *normally* yet? If it were impossible for you to gain weight, would you eat differently? (disclaimer: sure, I would rather have a brownie every day rather than only once a week but I understand that's just foolish now. That doesn't mean I'm on a diet.) SignatureWalking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 > Ignoramus wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > only once a week but I understand that's just foolish now. That doesn't > mean I'm on a diet.) You're on the "1 brownie a week diet." ;-) Phil M. Signature"I gotta go. You're killin' me." "Phil M." wrote: I wrote: >> (disclaimer: sure, I would rather have a brownie every day rather >> than only once a week but I understand that's just foolish now. That >> doesn't mean I'm on a diet.) > > You're on the "1 brownie a week diet." ;-) Do you think that title would sell many books? ;-) SignatureWalking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 >I never was a stress eater, but when you're limited to vending >machines, or restaurants without the best choices, it's harder to keep >the weight under control. Barbara, I've noticed earlier when you've said that you eat all your meals in restaurants. I'd be really interested in hearing a bit more about what sorts of restaurants you choose and what sorts of foods you select. I generally feel I do okay -- when I choose to :-) -- at eating healthily in restaurants, but I seem to order the same things a lot. Anyway, if you're inclined to share tips, I'm most definitely interested! Chris 262/150/ (145-150) >>I never was a stress eater, but when you're limited to vending >>machines, or restaurants without the best choices, it's harder to keep [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > Chris > 262/150/ (145-150) I second Chris's request! Signaturejmk in NC >Barbara, I've noticed earlier when you've said that you eat all your >meals in restaurants. I'd be really interested in hearing a bit more [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >lot. Anyway, if you're inclined to share tips, I'm most definitely >interested! I mostly eat in restaurants that serve fish, lots of salads, etc. The things I do in restaurants are the same common sense things you'd do at home. I keep foods that put weight on me to a minimum, i.e., potatoes, rice, thick sauces, etc. I watch portions, and have favorite restaurants with favorite menu items that I know fit within my regular eating pattern. I like sashimi, and watch the soy sauce. In other words, I eat in restaurants pretty much the same way I'd be eating if I cooked. I am in the process of putting in a new kitchen with a Jenn-Air range. So you never know, I might actually decide to cook something. Barbara Hirsch, Publisher OBESITY MEDS AND RESEARCH NEWS The latest in obesity research and weight loss drug development http://www.obesity-news.com/ |
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