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Those last few pounds -

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Roxi - 22 Jun 2004 14:26 GMT
Now, all my life I've been 'chubby', never really obese, but no where
near thin. About a year ago, my parents where arrested so I went to
live with my grandmother, and she's an elderly Russian Jewish lady, so
you can imagine the food. Every meal is a 5 course feast, with snacks
inbetween. I was in England at the time, and I went from a small size
8 to a size 12. 2 months later, I went to Israel, and continued eating
in this fashion. When I went to hospital about 5 months ago, due to my
constant headaches, I weighed in at 63.5 kgs. That's 140 lbs. At 5"2.
Horrible in all aspects, because I felt awful as well.

To make things worst, I had agreed to go out with a guy in school with
me, and my fear of my body made me wear a corset at all times with
him, because I felt embarassed to sit down.

Given that this was still winter, I decided it would be perfect to
lose weight, since in winter you wear more covering clothes. Summer in
Israel is not a place for large clothing.

So, in about 2 months, I weighed in at 56 kgs. Today I weigh 53 kgs
(116.5 lbs ). I find it depressing that in 3 months I only managed 3
kgs. I have a different boyfriend, who loves me dearly, and we spend
alot of time playin' like kids [rough and tumble in the park, lol], we
walk everywhere since he doesn't have a car, have an active sex
life... He's encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose
weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

I want to lose those final 8 pounds, desperatly, if I could lose 33.5
lbs, I have to be able to lose 8 more, but I'm stuck; I don't eat
chocolate, I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat junk food, and I can't go on
a low-carb diet. Frankly, potatoes are one of the few vegetables I do
like eating, I like eating soup with noodles in it, and I tend to eat
half pitas with ketchup in them in the morning [I have odd food
cravings].

I don't know what to do really, I've cut down on the pitas, I did
increase my calcium intake, which helped in weight loss [3 % milk with
a bit of corn flakes, 98% fat free youghurt sometimes, I like the
fruit ones]. I go for half hour walks a few times a day, then with my
boyfriend we keep moving...

I'm at my wits end! My health isn't great, I can't do strenious
excercise, and I don't know what else to do!

Please share some advice, this is a small goal compared to the 100 lbs
some of you have lost.
Jim Bard - 22 Jun 2004 14:42 GMT
> I'm at my wits end! My health isn't great, I can't do strenious
> excercise, and I don't know what else to do!

Lose the starchy foods, please.  What you have accomplished to this point is
something to be proud of, don't you think?  But in order to effect a change,
something has to be changed.

There are people in here who know a whole lot more about this than I do, and
I look forward to reading their suggestions.
Ignoramus11028 - 22 Jun 2004 14:55 GMT
> Now, all my life I've been 'chubby', never really obese, but no where
> near thin. About a year ago, my parents where arrested so I went to
> live with my grandmother, and she's an elderly Russian Jewish lady, so
> you can imagine the food.

I can certainly imagine, having one Jewish grandma and a Jewish MIL.

> Every meal is a 5 course feast, with snacks inbetween.

and everything was fried. Does your grandma cook pork also?

> I was in England at the time, and I went from a small size
> 8 to a size 12. 2 months later, I went to Israel, and continued eating
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> me, and my fear of my body made me wear a corset at all times with
> him, because I felt embarassed to sit down.

The worst part of it is that at 5'2" and 140 lbs, you probably looked
pretty decent, compared to most women. My wife is 5'1" and 135, and
she looks rather good, fat- and figure-wise.

> Given that this was still winter, I decided it would be perfect to
> lose weight, since in winter you wear more covering clothes. Summer in
> Israel is not a place for large clothing.

> So, in about 2 months, I weighed in at 56 kgs. Today I weigh 53 kgs
> (116.5 lbs ). I find it depressing that in 3 months I only managed 3
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> life... He's encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose
> weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

You are now slim, and losing weight while slim is very challenging.

Do you have large wrists or thin wrists? (are you small boned or big
boned). Big boned people naturally weigh more and they cannot look
like thin models (which is not to say they cannot look good, just not
like models).

> I want to lose those final 8 pounds, desperatly, if I could lose 33.5
> lbs, I have to be able to lose 8 more, but I'm stuck; I don't eat
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
> I'm at my wits end! My health isn't great, I can't do strenious
> excercise, and I don't know what else to do!

Do you still have periods?

My opinion only goes here.

It is extremely difficult to lose weight when you are already so slim.

It is also rather challenging to do it in a safe manner that increases
your life expectancy, rather than makes you sick from malnourishment.
Also, it is hard to do in a manner that does not screw up your eating
habits via binging and vomiting, loss of control over food and such.

Human biology, especially female biology is such that the body resists
losing bodyfat after a certain point.

So, you are fighting a very uphill battle, where you are likely to
lose either by not achieving your goal, or lose by losing weight AND
ruining your physical/mental health (which you admitted is not great).

If, as you said, your health is not great and you cannot do strenuous
exercise, then your looks are more likely to be improved by improving
your fitness, rather than by further starving yourself.

My suggestion is to stop losing weight for now, avoid regaining
weight, and do some heavy duty exercise which would make you more
toned, instead of looking like you came out of Dachau.

Then reconsider your weight loss plans.

Tone is just as much function of what is under the skin (muscle
vs. fat), as it is a function of merely body weight.

Try to define more specifically what constitutes good looks for you,
rather than go by the scale. A sensible definition would include being
slim, having nice pink skin, being firm and somewhat muscular, agile,
bouncy etc. You decide, but look beyond just the weight number. Once
you arrive at this definition, try to then tailor your lifestyle
towards achieving good looks.

You seem to be a person with a lot of willpower and determination,
make sure that you use your good qualities towards good purposes.

I also wonder just what it is that your current BF wants from you.

> Please share some advice, this is a small goal compared to the 100 lbs
> some of you have lost.

This is more difficult than those dozens of pounds that we lost when
we were so obese.

I lost 45 lbs last year, 5 lbs this year, I have further 5 lbs to lose
for this year, and it is bloody difficult. I am trying to be very
careful either, to not starve myself too much etc. I am not nearly as
thin as you!

Please read Roy Walford's _Beyond 120 year diet_, where he discusses
how calorie restriction WITH OPTIMAL NUTRITION prolongs life
expectancy and improves quality of life. He specifically addresses the
issue of malnourishment that could easily happen to someone who
restricts his or her calories, and how to avoid it.

The short summary is that you have a chance of being slim and reducing
chance of of debilitating diseases and conditions (diabetes, cancer,
heart disease), and reducing your rate of aging, but you have to be
careful with what you eat to make sure you get all nutrients and are
not too starved.

You are kind of at crossroads, you can either give up, develop an
eating disorder, or live a very healthy and long life. So be careful.

i
Alex - 22 Jun 2004 15:40 GMT
He's encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose
>weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

Ummmm, this statement struck a chord with me. I dated someone who I
thought was "better than I deserve" many years ago. He was handsome,
charming, sweet, but really wanted me to change my body so that I
would look like the girls in the magazines he had plastered all over
his wall. I worked incredibly hard, doing 2-3 hours daily in the gym
and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I
wasn't healthy, and I was doing this for him....

Any changes that will stick must come from YOU and not what your
boyfriend wants. If YOU want to tone your stomach do ab exercises.

Your current weight does not sound out of proportion to your height,
please examine what is going on with you internally rather than
letting the external influence your health/mindset. You have already
achieved great things, losing the weight you have! Celebrate that!

Wanna tone up? Work out. There are plenty of people here that can
point you to some excellent websites.

Please let us know how all is going with you.

Ally
212/181/160
Ignoramus11028 - 22 Jun 2004 15:45 GMT
> and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I
> wasn't healthy, and I was doing this for him....

I wonder how one can look great but not be healthy... It sounds
counterintuitive.

> Any changes that will stick must come from YOU and not what your
> boyfriend wants. If YOU want to tone your stomach do ab exercises.

yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly.

> Your current weight does not sound out of proportion to your height,

She is actuallly very slim. If we assume the OP to be 22 year old, she
is in the lowest 33% of women of her age by weight, according to

     http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/av.htm

i
Alex - 22 Jun 2004 16:07 GMT
>> and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I
>> wasn't healthy, and I was doing this for him....
>
>I wonder how one can look great but not be healthy... It sounds
>counterintuitive.

I wasn't ill, I received lots of compliments about how great I looked,
etc. My skin looked great, my body looked great, etc. But internally
(read mentally) I was not healthy. I didn't feel good about myself and
did terrible things to my body to conform to some esoteric standard of
beauty. It is impossible actually be healthy when you are eating only
enough calories per day to simply function and workout. I was eating a
bag of plain popcorn and 2 apples per day. I was very early 20's and
didn't know better, but can you say eating disorder? That's the road I
was walking down. Not healthy. Sorry I was unclear.

Ally
212/181/160
Ignoramus11028 - 22 Jun 2004 16:12 GMT
>>> and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I
>>> wasn't healthy, and I was doing this for him....
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> Ally
> 212/181/160

Oh, I see, thank you.

i
cooper - 22 Jun 2004 16:41 GMT
> yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly.

Maybe it's not *pounds* you have to lose....

-coop
Ignoramus11028 - 22 Jun 2004 16:44 GMT
>> yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly.
>
> Maybe it's not *pounds* you have to lose....

Maybe! Certainly I find it strange that the BF is encouraging her to
lose more weight at 5'2" and 116 lbs.

Letting the partner know that he or she is fat and needs to lose
weight is not always unreasonable... But not in the OP's case.

i
That T Woman - 22 Jun 2004 18:49 GMT
> > yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly.
>
> Maybe it's not *pounds* you have to lose....
>
> -coop

I've been there and in the long run, there was always something else he
wanted me to change about myself.  It was like he was amusing himself by
seeing how far I'd go to please him.  Eventually, he got bored with me and
dumped me away.  Thank God.  If your boyfriend is only interested in the
superficial you, then he's not really interested in you.

Tonia

221/177/130
Doug Freyburger - 22 Jun 2004 21:54 GMT
> At 5"2 ... Today I weigh 53 kgs (116.5 lbs ).

Seriously reconsider your goal, and look closely at your age.
People who hit 20 years old naturally complete their growth and
add weight.

> I find it depressing that in 3 months I only managed 3 kgs.

Less to lose, slower to lose.  Nothing to lose, must go low
calorie to lose.  I am very dubious you actually have any
excess given your height.

> He's encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose
> weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

Sounds good.

> I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat junk food, and I can't go on
> a low-carb diet. Frankly, potatoes are one of the few vegetables I do
> like eating, I like eating soup with noodles in it, and I tend to eat
> half pitas with ketchup in them in the morning

Time to grow up and decide you like veegies.  Sound harsh,
is harsh, but you need to be told that right now.  If you are
a vegitarian veggies must be plentiful in your food or you
will eventually be in trouble. Health or weight, something will
crash.

> [I have odd food cravings].

That's a sign you aren't eating right.  Add more veggies no
matter what.  Decide that you have grown up and grown-up like
veggies, then start eating some.
Roxi - 23 Jun 2004 13:15 GMT
Nah, he doesn't want me to be like a cover girl, whenever we go out,
he asks me if I've eaten today [I'm out alot, so if I go straight from
learning out with him, it means I havn't eaten yet], if I say no,
he'll take me straight to eat, so he wants me to be well fed, but he
wants me to exercise, which I have a genuine problem with; Swimming,
walking, skating, no problem, but things like running, volly ball, etc
are not do-able. I'm currently being treated for headaches in hospital
[outpatient], and I will just pass out from running even if I only
have a slight headache. [I'm not horribly out of shape, if I have no
headache, I can happily do cross country running (4 kms last time we
did it), but I don't enjoy passing out, which is what the hospital is
looking into]

He himself isn't the problem, he never makes comments about my
stomach, which I hate, and had encoureged me to go to the beach even
though I'm horribly shy of going, but I feel better going with him and
knowing I'm not so fat anymore.

In regards to veggies; Salads, raw carrots, cauliflower, brocoli,
potatoes, artichoke, leak, corn... I do eat, the problem is, my little
brother, who is underweight despite eating like a pig, loves meat, so
my father focuses on cooking meat more than anything. Which
personally, I hate. I tend to eat raw carrots and mushrooms after
dinner because there will be very few veggies there.

Should I cut down on the starchy food? Argh, if I lived on my own,
it'd be so much easier, it's amaazing I've stayed away from the junk
food in the house.

I still have a bit too much excess on my arms, thighs and stomach,
even if my weight is alright for my height, about 8 pounds less is
what I could do with.

Any  suggesstions?

For example, what to eat for breakfast? I don't like eating in the
mornings really, it makes me feel bloated and more sleepy than I
already am, but on weekends when I wake up late, I eat cornflakes. Is
there something else I should be eating? I was told to drink milk in
some form because I had a calciu deficency...

And for dinner? Besides meat, there'll be either pasta, rice or
potatoes, I can add simple things to it, but cooking my own dinners
isn't an option.

Thank you. :)
Ignoramus19080 - 23 Jun 2004 13:42 GMT
At the BMI of 21, the right way to get rid of "excess on arms and
stomach" is by converting fat into muscle, not by starving yourself
further. Starving without exercise will but off other organs before
the fat. If you are body conscious on the beach at the BMI of 21, it
is overwhelmingly likely that you are not seeing your body in a
rational light. And if you look bad, then, maybe exercise can address
is better than further starvation.

Losing more weight is not a solution for looking more beautiful.

Glad to hear that your BF is a supportive person.

i
Chris Braun - 23 Jun 2004 14:13 GMT
>At the BMI of 21, the right way to get rid of "excess on arms and
>stomach" is by converting fat into muscle, not by starving yourself
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>
>i

Ig, I'm sure you know that fat can't be converted to muscle!  One can
lose fat and one can gain muscle, but fat can't turn into muscle.
They're just different stuff.

This aside, adding a little muscle might give Roxi a more pleasing
shape.  And it can speed up the metabolism a little bit, which can
help her lose fat.

Chris
Ignoramus19080 - 23 Jun 2004 14:35 GMT
>>At the BMI of 21, the right way to get rid of "excess on arms and
>>stomach" is by converting fat into muscle, not by starving yourself
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> lose fat and one can gain muscle, but fat can't turn into muscle.
> They're just different stuff.

I agree that the proper way of making my suggestion would be to
suggest to gain muscle and lose fat and stay at about same weight.

Pretty much what I am doing myself, this year. I lost 5 lbs of weight
and added quite a bit to my muscle mass, maybe 2-3 lbs. You have also
gained some muscle and lst some fat, if I remember right.

> This aside, adding a little muscle might give Roxi a more pleasing
> shape.

Glad we agree.

i
Chris Braun - 23 Jun 2004 23:09 GMT
>Pretty much what I am doing myself, this year. I lost 5 lbs of weight
>and added quite a bit to my muscle mass, maybe 2-3 lbs. You have also
>gained some muscle and lst some fat, if I remember right.

Overall I've lost muscle as well as fat.  When you're already doing
serious weight training (and I was competing in weightlifting well
before I started dieting), you don't lose 117 lbs. without losing
muscle too.  I didn't have anywhere near 117 lbs. of fat to lose.

Chris
262/145/ (145-150)
 
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