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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / July 2004Mistaken for pregnant :(
Hi group-- I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained confidence that my habits were sticking, I've been throwing time into other priorities. Until this morning, when I had a wake-up call. I'm back to vent, whine and seek support. Upon returning from my run this morning (of all things), I was greeted by a neighbor who remarked that it was so nice for us to be expecting. I was taken aback. I said we're not expecting. She seemed confused and tried to recover. I tried to exit gracefully. Now come on. Yes, I still have more to eventually lose. But 5'7" and 170 with a running and lifting habit is leagues ahead of 5'7" and 230 with an eating and eating habit. And I've been this way for two years steady! Stellar BP, stellar RHR, stellar cholesterol. I still eat my oatmeal with protein powder every day (and enjoy it!) and cover on average 35 miles a week on foot (and enjoy it!). It took me a long time to *really believe* that the first 60 were gone for good, and for a while now, I have been feeling differently, and *better* about my body. Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look pregnant? Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens? Stupid stomach. Stupid neighbor. Sigh. --Kim in cville 230/170/145 when I'm ready >Hi group-- >I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] >--Kim in cville >230/170/145 when I'm ready stupid neighbor! Were you wearing tight shorts and lose tshirt? I recall when my son was all of 2 or 3 months old I was grocery shopping with him. I was 5'3" and about 155lbs when the guy in line in front of me asked me when I was due... To which I pointed to my infant son in the baby carrier in the cart and said "2 months ago, thank you very much"... I was wearing stretch pants and oversided tshirt at the time - because I still wasn't into any prepregnancy clothes (after gaining 50lbs and only losing 10 after the birth).... > stupid neighbor! > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > tshirt at the time - because I still wasn't into any prepregnancy > clothes (after gaining 50lbs and only losing 10 after the birth).... Tight shorts and reasonably fitted but not snug tank top. Maybe that was it. Still have a bulge and the tank top showed it. Never wearing that again... Sorry about your similar grocery store experience. Thanks. It did remind me that people sometimes do just open mouth and insert foot. --Kim > Hi group-- > I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality > when this kind of stuff happens? What is your recent weight history? Do you have a weight log of any sort? Some people sometimes say the stupidest things with no reason. Maybe you do not have a big belly, you just stuck it out momentarily or your face looked pregnant? If you stuck with your weight loss for 2 years, that is already a cause for celebration. If you are indeed regaining, then you need to make adjustments. All in all, I cannot say without a picture, but you are unlikely to look very bad at this weight. i > What is your recent weight history? Do you have a weight log of any > sort? Have kept 60 pounds off for over two years, minus a 10 pound injury-related hiccup last fall that was dealt with in short order. > Some people sometimes say the stupidest things with no reason. Maybe > you do not have a big belly, you just stuck it out momentarily or > your face looked pregnant? See reply to JayJay--there's a good chance it was the shirt and my remaining bulge/skin. > If you stuck with your weight loss for 2 years, that is already a > cause for celebration. If you are indeed regaining, then you need to > make adjustments. Yeah, I've only in the last few months realized that I really believe I have successfully licked a significant portion of my excess fat, and that makes me feel good. I do have a watch and adjust plan in place for when things start to creep (like the injury hiccup above). > All in all, I cannot say without a picture, but you are unlikely to > look very bad at this weight. Thanks. I didn't think so either, which is the belief I questioned following this conversation this morning. That's why I was wondering if I have somehow started to get my body image out of whack the other way. But the perspective of a day has sunk in and I'm writing this off as occasionally careless people saying stupid things that have no effect on the progress I've made and how it makes me feel. Or I'm trying... --Kim in cville 230/170/145 when I'm ready >Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look >pregnant? The same thing happened to me when I was at my LOWEST weight for years (138, and I'm 5' 4"). I think it was because they rest of me had shrunk, so my poor old abs, slack form my giant babies, were more noticeable. > Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my >obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any >confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality >when this kind of stuff happens? I think many people actually can't deal any more with the normal body of a mature woman who's had children. We all end up striving to look like 18-year-olds. I bet you look great, judging by your mileage. But you probably don't look like Gwynnie, and increasingly that's the only image of beauty around.  SignatureJane Lumley > Hi group-- > I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > --Kim in cville > 230/170/145 when I'm ready I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But then I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things. > I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you > thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But then > I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things. Well, some people open their mouths and say things without really thinking first. i > > I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you > > thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But then [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > i Been there, done that, admitted I was stupid, and moved on. Ignoramus5599 <ignoramus5599@NOSPAM.5599.invalid> wrote in news:ccf1e9$f6o $0@pita.alt.net: > Well, some people open their mouths and say things without really > thinking first. Ya think? lolol SignatureWalking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 > I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you > thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But then > I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things. Actually, she only moved in a few months ago, and I had been weight-stable for two years by then, so she never knew me big. But yeah, stupid neighbor seems to be the consensus...I'm trying to let it roll off... --Kim in cville 23/170/145 when I'm ready > But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body > image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens? your neighbor made a terrible, and terribly gauche, mistake in saying what she did, but you shouldn't take it seriously. you know how hard you've worked to get to where you are and *you're* the person who needs to know that - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. it's nice to get validation from outside sources, but even if you don't you can still believe in yourself. > > But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body > > image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens? [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > get validation from outside sources, but even if you don't you can still > believe in yourself. So am I relying too much on outside sources if I say "Thanks, I needed to hear that"? :) I have been guilty of this in lots of areas, and it has taken its toll. But I'm becoming less so and I think that's why this shocked me so. I've been growing this fragile and tentative confidence that's been starting to feel more and more natural and just when I thought I was getting somewhere, someone poked this giant hole in it with a few words. But they were stupid words, and she was a heel. I'm healthy and strong. Thanks. --Kim in cville 230/170/145 when I'm ready > > > But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body > > > image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens? [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > So am I relying too much on outside sources if I say "Thanks, I needed to > hear that"? :) heh. no. > I have been guilty of this in lots of areas, and it has taken its toll. > But I'm becoming less so and I think that's why this shocked me so. oh, it's a terrible feeling. someone said the same thing to me once, years ago. i was horrified. but as bad as i felt, and as bad as you felt, i guarantee you that the women who *said* it to us felt far worse. it's a lose-lose situation, for sure. > I've been growing this fragile and tentative confidence that's been > starting to feel more and more natural and just when I thought I was > getting somewhere, someone poked this giant hole in it with a few words. > But they were stupid words, and she was a heel. I'm healthy and strong. > Thanks. didn't you say, though, that she didn't know you when you were heavier? so she doesn't have the old you to compare you to. and *you* know how much progress you've made. i know it's hard to shake it off, but it's not worth getting crushed over. keep up the good work and then when you reach goal you can gloat a bit :) > Hi group-- > I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > --Kim in cville > 230/170/145 when I'm ready Welcome back, Kim! I'm just about where you are: I've lost about 65 pounds, I'm lifting heavy and exercising regularly and eating my protein-powder oatmeal breakfast... But I've got a flapping belly. I don't know your story: did you get stretched out in childbearing like I did? My abdominal bands are stretched and don't meet in the middle like they're supposed to and the result is a bulging belly no matter what I do. The only answer is surgery. Or girdles. Or ignoring it. (Okay, so there are more than one answer.) :-) But at least your neighbor was trying to be happy for you. That's nice. That she wishes you well, I mean. I recall with embarrassment once meeting up with an aquaintance at a party and she was crowing something about babies and I asked, "oh, are you expecting?" and she glared at me because she was nine months pregnant and I was supposed to be able to tell. But she was one of those morbidly obese women (also very tall) that ALWAYS wore caftains and I just didn't detect any change! Dally 244/179/170 > I recall with embarrassment once meeting up with an aquaintance at a > party and she was crowing something about babies and I asked, "oh, are > you expecting?" and she glared at me because she was nine months > pregnant and I was supposed to be able to tell. But she was one of > those morbidly obese women (also very tall) that ALWAYS wore caftains > and I just didn't detect any change! This is why I never never ever make a comment or question about pregnancy until someone smiles brightly at me and says "I'm pregnant!" (and then I even refrain from saying "better you than me" <G>) You just never even know if they're happy about it. SignatureWalking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 >> I recall with embarrassment once meeting up with an aquaintance at a >> party and she was crowing something about babies and I asked, "oh, are [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > until someone smiles brightly at me and says "I'm pregnant!" (and then I > even refrain from saying "better you than me" <G>) same here. Never, ever. > You just never even know if they're happy about it. they always say they are i Ignoramus wrote: > SnugBear wrote: >> This is why I never never ever make a comment or question about >> pregnancy until someone smiles brightly at me and says "I'm [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > they always say they are With the whole thing being completely voluntary now, this should be the case. SignatureWalking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 >> I recall with embarrassment once meeting up with an aquaintance at a >> party and she was crowing something about babies and I asked, "oh, are [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >You just never even know if they're happy about it. This reminds me of the time at a family gathering when my husband's 3-year-old niece asked him, "Uncle Bob, do you have a baby in your tummy?" The poor child (who's now 16) has never quite lived this one down :-). Chris >Hi group-- >I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] >--Kim in cville >230/170/145 when I'm ready Well, at one point, way back when, I WAS 170 at 5'7"... and I was getting looks from guys on the street. It's still fat, yes, but depending on how you carry it, not all that bad as far as looks go. Take it for what it's worth... your neighbor is stupid. And perhaps rude as well. Of course, it's too bad you didn't take the opportunity to mess with her mind and tell her yes, you are so happy to be expecting to live a longer healthier life with your weight loss and fitness plan. Cynthia |
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