You do not need to be motivated, in the sense of being enthusiastic
about exercise or eating less. Just keep doing the right things, and
motivation may well come back by itself. It is unlikely to come if you
stop doing the right things.

Okay, now I'm just plain confused.  This DOES sound like the Jayjay I
know.  So what's with the fear of free weights?  Was it the knee thing
from last year?  And what's the weight at now?  I've fallen behind, are
you in some serious rebound or something?

If what you're describing is over-training then you need to take two
weeks [planned] off from training.  If what you're describing is a
full-tilt fall from the wagon then you have to do some head-work.  Why
do you want to lose weight?  What's in it for you?  What's it going to
cost you?  Is it worth the price to you?

There's nothing wrong with being fat [and happy] if that's what you
choose.  But if that isn't what you choose, well then, back you go to
baby steps.  Have a drink of water.  Log in fitday.  Go for a walk with
Zoe.  Shut up and lift.  And all that.

HTH

Gwendal (catching up to you!)
244/166/162

Did you ever get a chance to introduce your neighbor to the gym? Maybe you
could use an "accountability partner."

Sometimes exercise can be a good stress reducer. In my book it beats TV
hands down.

Go JayJay Go!
--
Matthew
185/177/160

I was having similar problems to yours today. My motivation was
*almost* completely lost, and I almost 'pigged out.' (Read: brownie
sundae). I'm stressed with all this work and I've never been colder.
It's not even supposed to hit 30 for 10 days or so and somedays might
go into the teens. I'm just frustrated, I guess, because it feels like
I haven't been able to relax (or just be generally 'comfortable') in so
long. So I cried a little to my boyfriend, and I told him I wanted some
really rich dessert after I got back home from working with my group
for a presentation (my period is coming next week, I'm exhausted and
depressed, and I want CHOCOLATE!). Afterwards, I met my boyfriend at
the cafe. He said he wanted a biscotti and a coffee. And, after looking
at raspberry-fudge brownies and cheesecake and whatnot, I realized that
all I wanted was a biscotti, too (chocolate and white-chocolate chip
raspberry, actually). I had gained control, but I wasn't *controlling*
myself. And it was *veryvery* good, I savored it over a long period of
time by dunking it in my coffee, and that was that. No ice cream
sundae, no 300 calories of sugar and fat in a brownie-- just a nice,
100-150 calorie, 8g sugar biscotti and a talk. Something moderate.

Maybe you need something like this to keep you motivated sometimes. Not
necessarily the 'treat' in a food sense, but to get yourself happy and
in the spirit of it all you have to do things for yourself. What made
me happy was to go to the cafe with my boyfriend and talk over biscotti
and hot coffee. I also had the obligation to walk to the library, which
had annoyed me earlier, but it probably unconsciously raised my spirits
a little to be moving rather than sitting and moping.

My motivation problem is actually weights: I hate lifting them. I've
stopped for a few days and I don't know if I can force myself to do it
again, at this point. I've been doing so much walking, too-- am I going
to see a positive gain, if any? I don't even know if I'm lifting the
weights correctly, and all I have are 8lb and 15 lb dumbbells (which
don't really allow a full-body workout). So basically, I could be
torturing myself and still gain mostly fat. These are the kind of
issues that totally throw my motivation out the window, because without
the weights anything I gain will probably be fat. So why not the
brownie sundae? The boneless buffalo wings from the place in town? I
just tell myself that at least I'm putting healthy things into my body;
if it comes onto me as fat, it does, but at least I'm getting the
nutritional benefits of avoiding sugar and fried foods at least 90% of
the time I'm eating.

What to do with myself..

Good luck getting back on track and motivated to keep on-plan. Just
remember to take it one day at a time, and be sure you are always *in
control* without being too *controlling.* In other words, there is
something about working too hard, putting too much pressure on oneself,
that can lead one to give up entirely.

Sara

I'm not sure if you're doing this or not, if so then ignore, but I found
great motivation when I started weighing myself everyday. You might need a
digital scale. Now I am projecting ahead saying 'Ok if I keep this up by
Friday I'll be ... lbs.' It is exciting to see your weight move down a
little everyday. If you have a bit of a feast day, then it probably won't
move down, but I would think any person of reasonable size should be able to
achieve daily weight loss.

You sound like I did when I quit smoking cigarettes, which I did two years
ago. Before that, there were many failed quit attempts. Just hang in there,
beating overeating is worse than quitting smoking, I think. At least with
smoking you could stay away from cigarettes and that helped. With food,
hell, its a lot tougher because you have to keep eating and beat your food
addiction at the same time. IMO. (My theory is that most people in this
group are food addicts.)

Going at a diet intensively can cause loss of motivation. If you make
an overall but definite change such as smaller meals limited snacks,
more salads, more water, it would go better than tracking everything
IMO. I can start out with Fitday through breakfast and lunch and have
abandoned it by late afternoon.

Another thing is to set aside all the food you require for one day and
don't eat additional.

JayJay--

Does it help you to set yourself deadlines? If so, perhaps you should
write down a reasonable, attainable goal weight with a deadline--give
yourself something to work towards.

Or, you can consider that this WOE/WOL is forever, and that one night
off from the gym or one muffin isn't going to ruin your "diet"
plan--it's just a bump in the road.

And if DH doesn't want to go to the gym and DS doesn't feel like
skate-boarding or blading, then to heck with them. Jump on your bike and
go for a ride, or head to the gym anyway. Don't let them deter you--it's
sabotage. I find I let my family dictate my schedule far too often, and
I have to fight to do the things I want to do for me. It's liberating to
say "to heck with this" and just go running...

Good luck,

Amy

There is nothing like increased stress to throw us off plan -- because food
is such an easy comfort and "reward" when other things are out of control
for the moment. But how rewarding is it to not be able to fit into our
favorite pants?

I am on Day 15 and have made some unwise choices in the last week, including
too much sodium (restaurant soup two days in a row and other questionable
restaurant food choices) -- and you are so right -- sodium screws me up too,
in so many ways. The puffy face and fingers, circles under the eyes,
increased thirst mistaken for hunger, water retention, sluggishness -- etc.
But I am working on improving my choices and hence improve my FitDay
numbers -- the great thing is that I had no idea I was on Day 14 until
yesterday -- previously, I couldn't even get through two consecutive days of
keeping a food journal. And while I haven't wanted to enter some of the
things I've eaten, just being willing to track every single thing I eat
means that I am back on plan. I don't have to be perfect about my choices --  
yet :-)

Doesn't sound like you can count on DH as an exercise motivator -- sounds a
little like he might be easing his own conscience about not exercising by
influencing you to skip it too, in the "sluggery loves company" vein -- so
maybe you can make your own exercise schedule and if he joins you, great. I
know that's hard when you want to spend the limited amount of after-work
time together -- but maybe once he realizes you won't stay with him at home,
he might be more apt to join you--? Just throwing out ideas, since a "let's
stay home" entreaty is very hard to resist when you are trying hard to keep
yourself motivated to begin with.

My best to you, JayJay -- you are still on track even if motivation is
flagging right now. Remember, feeling follows action, so the more you stick
to plan, the more motivated you will feel. If it could happen the other way
around, we'd all be better off, but somehow it just doesn't. Good luck this
weekend!

Mary

  I've recently had a bit of a motivation problem as well.  I've had a
set back in my plan methodology for losing weight, it just depressed
me.  I lost quite a bit of weight (6 pounds) the first week I started my
diet/exercise program, then that came to a grinding halt.  In the past
two weeks, I lost just a pound.

 I don't know if this would help anyone else, but for me the way I am
dealing with it is to basically just tough it out.  Sure, I don't feel
that I'm making much progress now, but I'll keep on doing it just
because I'm stubborn enough.  I keep reminding myself why I started in
the first place, about how crappy I feel about myself because of my
weight.  I ask myself if I am truly comfortable enough with my weight to
embrace the concept the just giving up.  Put that way, that answer is
always "no".  

  Set backs can happen, and that's ok.  I'm not in a race with anyone.
I figure that even if I manage to lose only one ounce of fat a week,
that's one less ounce that I have to haul around.

Motivated to do what? Lose fat? Look better? Live healthier?

Aren't these self-evidently motivating goals?

When I was dieting I just took it one day at a time, comfort in the
knowledge that massive benefits come from many small wins. And this
approach certainly worked for me... I alone put the food into my mouth,
so I alone am responsible for the results.

Losing 1lb/week is just 500kcal/day of caloric shortfall. Not that big
a deal in the scheme of things, and I've found once I've disciplined
myself to live on a deficit diet maintaining my weight is a lot easier
since I've now got all those extra calories to play with. The same
caloric balancing act that enabled me to lose 2lbs/week now helps me
maintain, it's just a lot easier now.

So what if I had to go without junk food for six months... hadn't I
eaten enough of that crap over the years to be able to temporarily
forego it?

The key element in my diet, though, was finding the maximum amount of
tasty food that fit in my caloric budget, plus adding 4-5hrs/week of
strenuous bikeriding to keep my metabolism and mental energies up.

But in the end, crash diets are doomed to fail. You've got to change
your entire way of looking at food... eating more for energy/dietary
needs and less for pleasure and emotional needs is very important. IMO
enjoying savory stuff occasionally is an important part of life, but
it's easy to get hooked on junk eating habits.

Looking over your posts this month, I see you just want to lose
20lbs...

Why all the drama queening?

"Last night while DH was munching on potato chips I sat munching on
lettuce/salad (no dressing.)"

"Its a matter of re-discipling myself to these things.   Carrot sticks
do
nothing for me."

Why do you want to lose ALL THE WEIGHT RIGHT NOW???

Shoot for 1lb/week, no less and no more. Eating more fats (eg. 1
serving of almonds) to keep you satiated and keeps your stomach out of
panic mode.

With exercise you've got 1500-2000kcal/day of food budget. Live within
it.

Heywood

232/182

Jay Jay , YOU have been a real motivator to ME and I think that you can
never know how yo have helped me in the past BUT I STILL SEE great
STRENGTH in you! I'm just coming off of this TERRIBLE binge and I ban't
believe how fast I wanted to get right back to the ICE CREAM today! I
STOPPED & I came here to find others in MY BOAT . Should I laugh or cry?
But the later is more how it feels except that I draw stregth as others
share the struggle!!
Keep posting as I NEED to read it . Don't you think that it is OFTEN the
winter blues? It is for me!

Have a good week.

glo