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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / March 2005Epiphany
An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in FitDay and ended up at about 1800 calories, which isn't so terrible for the challenge, since one meal was a breakfast buffet -- eeek). Anyway, as I was experiencing some anxiety about what I had eaten, what I was going to eat, what would happen to my FitDay numbers if I ate too much, how I would feel if I couldn't fit into my too-small bridesmaid dress for a wedding June 9 -- the old spiraling thoughts that often lead to anxiety-induced overeating, a thought came to me that nearly made me put on the brakes in my car -- it definitely put the brakes on the spiraling anxiety. I had been overweight for nearly all my life, and was over 200 lbs. for 22 years. The thought that arrested me was that this new weight loss is like a baby I have to protect. I've been at my current weight for less than two years, so my weight loss is like a toddler that needs lots of guidance and love and protection. If I had a toddler, would I let her loose in a grocery store to pick her own choices? No. Would I let her I realize this isn't very well expressed, but it totally changed my thinking of going from being afraid about my weight loss (i.e. not being able to maintain it) to moving toward a protective state of mind, where I will not let something interfere if it is going to hurt "my baby." Perhaps this is a delayed maternal instinct coming about :-) -- but changing my thoughts has helped me change my behavior. For instance, on the way home from dinner Sunday, I really really really wanted something sweet and was fully planning on stopping at the convenience store since they now stock sugarfree chocolate (thanks a lot for the 24-hour temptation). Anyway, I focused back on the thought of the 18-month-old -- am I going to let her loose in the convenience store in the state she's in (a little tipsy and really wanting chocolate) -- so I told "her" that if she skipped the convenience store, she could have sugarfree hot chocolate once we got home. And it worked. To those who might not understand, I know it can sound a bit demented or Sybil-ish to treat my weight loss as a separate entity, but I say anything that works has a place! :-) Mary Mary, I think this is a very insightful post -- and well-expressed too :-). I think the way of thinking that works for me is a little bit similar -- I kind of hold onto the idea of myself as an athlete (whether I really am or not :-) ), and eat to support/protect that image of myself. Chris > Mary, I think this is a very insightful post -- and well-expressed too > :-). I think the way of thinking that works for me is a little bit [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Chris Thanks, Chris! That is a great viewpoint too -- I have not thought of myself as an athlete yet :-) It definitely puts a different spin on things! Mary This makes perfect sence to me Glad you found a way to help yourself stay on track Michelle Ozzie in Switzerland 70.4/71/60 Starting again 24.11.04 >An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was >driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > >Mary > This makes perfect sence to me > Glad you found a way to help yourself stay on track > Michelle Ozzie in Switzerland Thank you, Michelle! Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in > FitDay and ended up at about 1800 calories, which isn't so terrible for the > challenge, since one meal was a breakfast buffet -- eeek). Great simile Mary, but weight loss as a toddler is like a miniature poodle. It always needs protection and never outgrows the toddler stage. I used to think that once at Ideal Weight, someone would spritz me with hair spray and I'd stay perfect. The job was just beginning but it is not a boring challenge and keeps me on my toes trying to zip up the small size pants and the ever open mouth.  SignatureDiva ***** The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman >> An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was >> driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > poodle. It always needs protection and never outgrows the toddler > stage. Darn, I was hoping that past 18 years she'd take care of herself :-) >I used to think that once at Ideal Weight, someone would spritz > me with hair spray and I'd stay perfect. The job was just beginning but > it is not a boring challenge and keeps me on my toes trying to zip up > the small size pants and the ever open mouth. Great turn of phrase -- as usual, Carol! Thanks! Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in > FitDay and ended up at about 1800 calories, which isn't so terrible for the > challenge, since one meal was a breakfast buffet -- eeek). Way to go, Mary. I've found that recording stuff on FitDay has really helped me decide the type of foods to eat to maintain "my" daily balance. > I had been overweight for nearly all my life, and was over 200 lbs. for 22 > years. The thought that arrested me was that this new weight loss is like a > baby I have to protect. Makes perfect sense to me. I've been over 300 for at least 10 years, and haven't seen the underside of 250 in over 15 years. The weight loss is something to be cherished and protected. I like this analogy > I realize this isn't very well expressed, but it totally changed my thinking > of going from being afraid about my weight loss (i.e. not being able to > maintain it) to moving toward a protective state of mind, where I will not > let something interfere if it is going to hurt "my baby." IMHO, very well put. It's like my fear of foods previously omitted from my program. I ask myself if I'm really ready to try them again, and do I really want to. Am I strong enough to deal with the potential problems that may arise, and is it worth it. > Anyway, I focused back > on the thought of the 18-month-old -- am I going to let her loose in the > convenience store in the state she's in (a little tipsy and really wanting > chocolate) -- so I told "her" that if she skipped the convenience store, she > could have sugarfree hot chocolate once we got home. Hey, if it will work on a "toddler", it's well worth trying otherwise. ;) Thanks for the inspiration, Mary. Keep up the good work. Donna K. 398.8/287.4/275 (next short term goal) New WOE began Jan 2003 >> An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > helped me decide the type of foods to eat to maintain "my" daily > balance. I have to bite the bullet sometimes to actually have the nerve to enter the "bad" foods -- but only by recognizing those choices can I improve them. "All or nothing" can work temporarily for me, but never in the long run. >> I had been overweight for nearly all my life, and was over 200 lbs. > for 22 [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > and haven't seen the underside of 250 in over 15 years. The weight > loss is something to be cherished and protected. I like this analogy Anytime I can turn "have to" into "want to," it is a good thing for me. Willingness sure beats crankiness. >> I realize this isn't very well expressed, but it totally changed my > thinking [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > and do I really want to. Am I strong enough to deal with the potential > problems that may arise, and is it worth it. All great questions! >> Anyway, I focused back >> on the thought of the 18-month-old -- am I going to let her loose in [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Thanks for the inspiration, Mary. Keep up the good work. Thank you, Donna -- I am looking forward to seeing your continued progress! You are doing great! Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Mary Great post Mary, And, although I've never been obese and usually don't even get into the "overweight" category, this also does apply to me. Generally I have always been able to "wakeup" when I get to that point where I'm borderline overweight. And its true about the toddler mentality. I've learned in the past few years that child developmental stages can also be applied in many areas from raising a dog, to dieting and raising yourself. And, like you - over the weekend I was wanting something sweet. I made some sugar free/fat free chocolate pudding instead of going out for something sweet. It satisfied the sweet tooth without killing the calorie budget. And it kept that kid in a candystore mentality away, that would have happened if I'd given in and gone to DQ. > Great post Mary, > > And, although I've never been obese and usually don't even get into the > "overweight" category, this also does apply to me. Generally I have > always been able to "wakeup" when I get to that point where I'm borderline > overweight. And its true about the toddler mentality. I think it is all about willingness vs. "obligation" -- willingness works much better for me, but it doesn't come naturally. > I've learned in the past few years that child developmental stages can > also > be applied in many areas from raising a dog, to dieting and raising > yourself. A lifelong job for me! > And, like you - over the weekend I was wanting something sweet. I made > some sugar free/fat free chocolate pudding instead of going out for > something sweet. It satisfied the sweet tooth without killing the calorie > budget. And it kept that kid in a candystore mentality away, that would > have happened if I'd given in and gone to DQ. Great alternative to DQ -- one of my favorite old haunts. Glad they don't make much sugarfree! Just those frozen bars. I bet I gained 50 lbs on Blizzards alone in college! Mary > Great alternative to DQ -- one of my favorite old haunts. Glad they don't > make much sugarfree! Just those frozen bars. I bet I gained 50 lbs on > Blizzards alone in college! We've got one just a couple miles from the house - (right in front of the closest grocery store and gas station). Its also right around the corner from the soccer fields. Its definately one of those places where you can drive there and be back home in 15 mins with goodies. DS is always asking to go and get blizzrds. But, that has recently turned into his Dad's favoite place to take DS after soccer practice on Wednesdays for their dinner, before bringing him back home and dropping him off with me. Dad doens't spring for dessert, just the burger/fries. Thankfully DS has nothing to worry about weight wise and is learning about nutrition and healthy eating, so that meal once a week isn't doing serious damage at this point. :) I didn't know you gave birth! Congrats! > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Mary >I didn't know you gave birth! Congrats! Yes, other women have 8-lb. babies -- I had an 80-lb. baby! :-) Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > love and protection. If I had a toddler, would I let her loose in a grocery > store to pick her own choices? No. Would I let her Good post, Mary. I can relate to your feelings. My desire to protect my good health has been the driving force behind maintaining my weight at an acceptable number and doing the exercise. Maybe it's because my mother always told me she felt her weight had been the biggest reason for her health problems. The year after she passed away I went to WW and lost 25 pounds to reach my goal weight. I've stayed at or near goal since except for the year I gave up smoking. I felt I needed to rid myself of that bad habit more than I needed to stay at goal weight. As soon as the smoking habit was gone I worked on getting back to goal. Maybe we all need to search deep inside to find the one thing that will inspire us to lose the weight then fiercely protect our success. Beverly > I realize this isn't very well expressed, but it totally changed my thinking > of going from being afraid about my weight loss (i.e. not being able to [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > Mary > Good post, Mary. > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > our > success. I think it is that "protective" feeling that has helped me make even better choices. The baby needs lots of structure and supervision, I am finding! :-) This morning I decided "she" hasn't been getting enough exercise -- but there's a fine line between nursing my ankle (what is with the baby analogies here!) and getting lazy and out of my routine. So since I don't have my workout on Wednesday, this morning at 7:15 I got on the bike for 30 min. and then on the treadmill for 30 minutes. And since I knew I wouldn't have to be pounding my ankle for an hour on the treadmill, I was able to increase my speed since I was only going for 30 minutes -- so instead of 3.0 I walked at 3.5. You have done so great on your goals of weight loss and not smoking -- what a double accomplishment! Mary >> I realize this isn't very well expressed, but it totally changed my > thinking [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >> >> Mary Great post as always Mary! I hadn't thought about it quite like this, but it makes a lot of sense. janice > Great post as always Mary! I hadn't thought about it quite like this, > but it makes a lot of sense. > > janice It had never struck me that way before, and just over the past few days I have made different choices once I realized how they might affect "my baby." Two years (not even) is such a small amount of time compared to the 22 years I was used to being over 200 lbs -- I feel I have to do some major changes in my thinking if I'm going to stay below 200. I have to retrain myself so that I don't creep back into bad old habits which were starting to snowball. And I was so distraught to see the scale at over 170 (which I never thought I'd see again) -- that it reminded me that 200 is very close and I need to really protect the accomplishment I've made till it can stand on its own two legs (as long as that takes!). Thanks, Janice! Mary >> Great post as always Mary! I hadn't thought about it quite like this, >> but it makes a lot of sense. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Mary I meant to post earlier about how much I like your analogy. While at the store with DH the other day he grabbed some ice cream and I said "you can't give that to the baby" and of course he nearly dropped dead right on the spot having no clue what I was talking about. We did compromise with SF/FF ice cream and I measured out my "baby" portion of 1/2 cup which of course is the actual grown-up portion. Plain old ice cream isn't one of my big triggers and I can take it or leave it. The other 13 portions in the container were consumed by someone other than me. If it had been chocolate covered then that would have been a different issue. Anyway it's a lifelong effort to change from old habits and adopt new ones. We have been doing some of these "bad" things for 30+ years now and one or two years of "good" behavior is simply not enough. Old habits never completely die, they just lie in wait to be picked up again. Jenn >>> Great post as always Mary! I hadn't thought about it quite like this, >>> but it makes a lot of sense. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > I meant to post earlier about how much I like your analogy. And sorry for the late reply, Jenn -- I haven't been to ASD in a few days. >While at the store with DH the other day he grabbed some ice cream and I >said "you can't give that to the baby" and of course he nearly dropped dead >right on the spot having no clue what I was talking about. That's really funny! I'll see what happens when I work it into a conversation, LOL. >We did compromise with SF/FF ice cream and I measured out my "baby" portion >of 1/2 cup which of course is the actual grown-up portion. And I used to think a normal portion was 2 cups! >Plain old ice cream isn't one of my big triggers and I can take it or leave >it. The other 13 portions in the container were consumed by someone other [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > one or two years of "good" behavior is simply not enough. Old habits > never completely die, they just lie in wait to be picked up again. They sure do, Jenn! And they don't care how long they have to wait! Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in > FitDay and ended up at about 1800 calories, which isn't so terrible for the > challenge, since one meal was a breakfast buffet -- eeek). <part of story deleted> > I've been at my current weight for less than two > years, so my weight loss is like a toddler that needs lots of guidance and [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > let something interfere if it is going to hurt "my baby." Perhaps this is a > delayed maternal instinct coming about :-) Thanks for sharing this insight, Mary! Signaturejmk in NC >> An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was >> driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Thanks for sharing this insight, Mary! It has really helped me over the past two weeks to cut back on some habits that were getting out of hand and train myself into wiser behaviors. Mary > An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was > driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything in [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Mary Mary, this made a lot of sense to me. It sort of mirrors my epiphany where I was holding a bowl of Halloween candy and thinking, "I've been good, I'll let myself have just one to be nice to myself." Then I realized - aha! - that being nice to myself meant treating myself with loving care in such a way as to more likely help me meet my goals and live within my values. A maternal model is a good one. I wouldn't give an over-fat kid cookies and cake as a snack to be "nice to him". Your analogy makes sense to me. I wish there was a way to teach epiphanies, because those are the moments that really count in this weight loss journey. Gwendal 244/164.5/165 42%/23%/23% >> An important and attitude-changing concept came to me Sunday as I was >> driving to my second restaurant meal of the day (I did record everything [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > loving care in such a way as to more likely help me meet my goals and live > within my values. A great way to turn that thought around! > A maternal model is a good one. I wouldn't give an over-fat kid cookies > and cake as a snack to be "nice to him". Your analogy makes sense to me. It has been very useful to me and I've found it's surprisingly easy for me to jump into that mode, so I am grateful for the new "tool." > I wish there was a way to teach epiphanies, because those are the moments > that really count in this weight loss journey. Yes, they are most welcome gifts! Mary |
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