Hi Mel, welcome to the group!  

First, the easy question: WOE = Way of Eating, and WOL = Way of Life.
People use these to acknowledge that the changes we make must be
permanent, not just a temporary diet to lose weight and then return to
our old habits.

It's great that you want to make this change, and that you have an
upcoming event to help you get started.  I think you need to not make
the wedding your sole focus, though, or the temptation will be to
revert back to your current lifestyle once it's over.  

I also think your objective of losing 40 pounds between now and then
may perhaps be a bit ambitious.  It may happen, but it may not.  But
remember that any loss will be a start on the road to a healthier and
prettier you :-).  Don't set yourself up to be disappointed if you
don't achieve that rate of loss.  Instead, start eating the right way
and exercising, and celebrate what you do accomplish.

The reason I'm saying this may be ambitious, by the way, is that the
recommended rate of loss to remain healthy is 1-2 pounds per week, and
it looks like you're aiming for a bit more.  And a rate of 2
pounds/week can be a lot for a woman, depending on what you're eating
now to maintain at 220.  Your age -- and I don't have any idea how old
you are -- can be a factor here; one's metabolism slows as one gets
older.  (I know about this; I'll be 57 next month :-) .)  

For the record, I never lost as much as 10 pounds in a month after my
first month of dieting, but in 23 months I lost over 120 pounds :-).
Slow and steady will get you there.

Chris
262/130s/130s
started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004

Why wouldn't it be possible?  It's definitely possible.  All you have to
do is eat less, exercise more and keep repeating that.  I lost 80 pounds
over the past three years and I can tell you that change is absolutely
possible.  The catch is that you've got to change if you want to change.

What you're saying is that you haven't decided to do it.  Until you
decide to do it this will remain an impossible goal.  You'll find excuse
after excuse why you can't do it.

After you decide to do it then you'll find challenge after challenge
you'll have to overcome, but each one can be overcome with some problem
solving and attention and energy.

You want simple?  Use your hand.  Eat portions no bigger than two
fistfuls each meal.  Eat frequently, and plan to get some lean protein
in every meal.

Drink water... lots of it.

And move your body for half an hour every day (to start with.)  Go for a
brisk walk, or use the elliptical trainer for two fifteen minute
sessions or three ten minute sessions or whatever it takes.  Sweat every
day.

Start with Mistress Krista:

http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html

Mel, how old are you?  How long have you been overweight?  What's your
family situation?

Delenn
244/164/165

Mel, you do not need to wait for some special mindset, motivation etc
to lose weight. All you need to do is eat less and exercise, even if
you do not feel like doing it. That's a part of being a responsible
adult, doing things that you know are right, even if you do not feel
like doing them. Do not wait until you get a holy revelation, start
now and then as you go, you just might get that revelation. And even
if you do not get that revelation but do the right things (eat less
and exercise) you will end up thin.

At 5'4" and 220 lbs, your fat is a hazard to yourself.

You do not need any money at all to lose weight, in fact, you can save
money by giving up expensive junk food and eating less overall. Part
of the savings may be needed to buy more shoes. Gyms and exercise
equipment are optional.

40 lbs by july means losing about 12 lbs per month, which is a little
ambitious. You may be able to accomplish that, or you might not.
Anyway, it is better to accomplish this partially and be 190, rather
than to be 220.

As for a simple plan, all you need is to know two words, "eat
less". Could not be simplier than that, really. You decide what you
will eat less of, whatever makes your life easiest to do without.

i

dear mel,
besides learning to stop dieting, and just change my WOE  (way of
eating, for life) i found out that  my body was being effected in
many ways, due to my carb consumption.
take this test:
http://www.carbohydrateaddicts.com/caquiz.html

Really, there is no way you can lose 40 lbs by July in a safe manner.
In my opinion, 15-20 lbs. is a more realistic goal.

Really, a large part of getting on a diet is the mental aspect. There
really is no easy way to do this. Sure, you could starve yourself, go
on a crash diet, or do something like that. But, all that'll do is land
you in the hospital.

But you need a plan so here it is:

1. Exercise at least 30 mins a day for 6 days a week. You can walk or
jog, which costs no money.
2. Cut your calorie intake down to 1200-1400 cals. This will also save
you money on food.
3. Try to make your lifestyle more active. Take the stairs instead of
the elevator. Park in the back of the lot when you go shippoing, etc.

It's a simple plan, but not easy to do by any means.

Your goal is unrealistic.  To reach it, you would have to do things you
could not keep on with and the weight would come back.  Don't expect to lose
more than 2 pounds a week, so at this point you will probably lose a maximum
of 30 pounds safely.  The important thing is start a new WOL so the pounds
don't come back later in the first place, and so that you can continue to
lose safely to your goal of 40 in the second place.