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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / June 2005Emotional Barriors to a "poundage"?
Hello. :) So, here I've been going gang-busters since last October with the weight loss--good eating, lots of exercise--, but for the last 2 months I've not lost weight that stayed off (213 today, 213 on 4/15). Here's what I'm wondering about... About 2 or so months ago, my friend looked at me, put her fingers around my wrist, and said, "Damn girl, you're going to be LITTLE when you finish losing all your weight!" And I said...nothing. I was shocked! I had this feeling inside me of, "Nuh Uh!" Just like that...a little kid saying, "oh no I won't! You wont push ME around!" Wow...it was a scary feeling to be "little" in the eyes of the world. So...that gave me lots to think about, right? You bet... Now, know that the 200 lb. barrier is an important one. I'm really looking forward to seeing 1's, as I'm sure many of you can totally relate to. Well, I tell you, I've been struggling with this last 13 lbs for a LONG time now! I get down to 208, and it goes up. I get back down to 207, and it goes up. I drop to 207 again, and then I'm back at 213. Yeah...3 "cycles" of up and down in the two months since someone told me I'd be "little." I'm wondering if I'm having an unconscious (ha! I found you!) thought/feeling about being little and so...like, I'm sabotaging the effort to drop below 200, which to mean means "almost normal." I know this is not a plateau, because it's definitely my eating behavior causing the fluctuations; my body is still responding well to the healthy WOE. So, I'm wondering if any of you folks have had experience with an "emotional" barrier about your weight-loss "pounds" or specific targets/goals, in the way that I've written about above. Tata! Heidi 262/213/212 Losing 100lbs. 1 lb. at a time. Start 10/24/04 > Hello. :) > [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > Losing 100lbs. 1 lb. at a time. > Start 10/24/04 You can always pad your clothes without regaining the weight if you need some form of insulation. I don't think you can emotionally prevent yourself from losing weight. I think it is just calories in versus metabolism + exercise out. If you have stalled I would simply re-examine your daily diet. Maybe you've become subtly complacent in measuring actual-vs-apparent food portions or something like that. Why don't we go over what you are eating first and take it from there. doug >>Hello. :) >> [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > You can always pad your clothes without regaining the weight if you > need some form of insulation. > I don't think you can emotionally prevent yourself from losing weight. I > think it is just calories in versus metabolism + exercise out. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > doug I disagree. I think people do allow their emotions to prevent them from reaching their weight-loss goals. It really depends on how they feel about their bodies, and what they feel their size represents. I believe we had a discussion before about what we felt our weight "said" about us--answers ranged from "I'm a heavyweight--no one can push me around," to "I'm protected--no one can reach me." Someone who has been sexually abused may avoid losing weight to avoid comment on their physical appearance. Amy > I believe we had a discussion before about what we felt our weight > "said" about us--answers ranged from "I'm a heavyweight--no one can push [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Amy Yeah, that's what I'm thinking is going on for me, more than anything. "I will NOT be little!" So, I've been working in self talk because the fact is I'm stronger now (thanks to weight lifting and exercise) than I've ever been! There may be more going on here (like not wanting to attract sexual attention, as I do have a history of abuse), but I'll cross those bridges when I come to them. For now, I can be small and strong. I AM going to reach 200 lbs. Last night I forced myself to toss out all my too big clothes. Heidi 262/208/207 Losing 100lbs. 1 lb. at a time. Start 10/24/04 > > I believe we had a discussion before about what we felt our weight > > "said" about us--answers ranged from "I'm a heavyweight--no one can push [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Losing 100lbs. 1 lb. at a time. > Start 10/24/04 I went through my closet the other night. Along with what was too big, not worn for more than one year, and so yesterday went clothing that I obtained while feeling rather too optimistic about my goals--and a few other things. A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, belly-baring flares, does she... Amy A Ross schreef: > A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, > belly-baring flares, does she... I agree about the flare part. I don't know about the others; I'm almost 50, but when my belly gets flat enough, I'd like to get a small tattoo on it, and some low-rise pants to show it off. ;-) Berna (101.5/68.5/68 kg)  Signature( )_( ) Berna M. Bleeker-Slikker / . . \ berna.bleeker@gmail.com \ \@/ / http://www.volksliedjes.nl >A Ross schreef: >> A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > >Berna (101.5/68.5/68 kg) While I hate to cause you any doubts about your goal, I should warn you that you might have some loose skin in the belly area when you get done losing weight. I do, anyway. My belly is quite flat, but when I wear low-rise pants there's a bit of loose flesh that hangs over at the top. It's not fat -- just a few layers of skin -- but it's not that attractive and I don't think it's going to go away. I figure I can settle for looking good with my belly covered up. (Showing it off was never one of my aspirations anyway, though. I'm 57, and no one I know my age wears fashions like that.) Chris 262/130s/130s started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004 Chris Braun schreef: >>A Ross schreef: >> [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > was never one of my aspirations anyway, though. I'm 57, and no one I > know my age wears fashions like that.) Oh well, I'll just have to wait and see, no? I wouldn't be wearing it often, anyway; DH thinks I'm too old for that style in any case, and he is probably right ;-) Berna (101.5/68.5/68 kg) Signature( )_( ) Berna M. Bleeker-Slikker / . . \ berna.bleeker@gmail.com \ \@/ / http://www.volksliedjes.nl >Chris Braun schreef: >> [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > >Berna (101.5/68.5/68 kg) You're right about waiting and seeing. You have less to lose than I did, so perhaps you'll not have quite the same result. And a lot depends on individual genetics and such. I have a lot less loose skin than many people who've lost as much as I did, but I do have some. (Or else you can just say "the heck with it" and wear what you want anyway :-) .) Chris 262/130s/130s started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004 Heh, heh, Chris - same thing was true for me. I am 5' 6" and 48, and I have three kids. I lost 65 lb and am down to 130ish, wearing a size 3/5, and my stomach is quite flat in clothing - but I have a lot of extra skin in the middle - I can grab a couple of handfuls and pull it up like a sock - LOL!! I got a wrinkly middle over my navel - and my navel is not round, but a funny flat sort of slit. I look great in clothing (at least trim and fit vs. what I used to look like....the amazing lumpy sloth woman). However I am NOT wearing any belly revealing styles - not that they are really age appropriate anyway - my 14 year old son would probably die of embarrassment even if I had a tummy you could bounce quarters off. Of course, if someone wants to pay for me to have a tuck......maybe I could donate a few yards of skin to some worthy cause. I dunno, of all the women I see in belly revealing tops and low rise pants, maybe 3% are flattered by the style - and the rest....?!! Mary G. >I dunno, of all the women I see in belly revealing tops and low rise >pants, maybe 3% are flattered by the style - and the rest....?!! You're right about that! And that includes most of the teenagers. Chris 262/130s/130s started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004 I bet a lot of us would be ditching certain wardrobe items if we could see what we really look like. Human beings have such a huge capacity for seeing what they want to see (or resolutely ignoring the obvious). What finally galvanized me to get serious about my weight was seeing pictures of myself from a family party last summer. I don't know what planet my brain was on, or why I wasn't SEEING it in the mirror at the time, but ay, yi, yi. Is that ME??? The pictures (from all angles, since it was a big family do, and tons of snaps were taken) whacked me upside the head not just at my size, but at the luscious combination of shapeless me, in the equally shapeless red cotton moo-moo thing I was wearing. At the time,I thought looseness of the dress sort of disguised the weight, but it accentuated it - I look like a watermelon in a big red bag. Eeek, must track down all prints and BURN them! Mary Mary_Gordon@tvo.org schreef: > The pictures (from all angles, since it was a big family do, and tons > of snaps were taken) whacked me upside the head not just at my size, [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Eeek, must track down all prints and BURN them! Nono - keep some of them to use as 'before' pictures! :-) Berna (101.5/68.4/68 kg) Signature( )_( ) Berna M. Bleeker-Slikker / . . \ berna.bleeker@gmail.com \ \@/ / http://www.volksliedjes.nl > >A Ross schreef: > >> A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > 262/130s/130s > started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004 I tease my girls that I'm going to get my belly button pierced--just as soon as I can find it. While I am relatively lean everywhere else, my belly continues to be my problem area. The two baby pooch. Amy 168/117 >A Ross schreef: >> A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > 50, but when my belly gets flat enough, I'd like to get a small tattoo on > it, and some low-rise pants to show it off. ;-) I don't like flares myself but most of my pants are low rise (no tattoo though ;-) ). I guess it depends a lot on where you live, in some places people give you funny looks if you don't conform to *their* idea of what someone of a certain age, weight, etc. should wear. Luckily in London you can wear anything but when I was in Spain many people would do a full 'head-to-toe survey', often followed by comments between them. Not being used to it, I just found it very annoying. > A 38 year old mother of two doesn't really need size 3 Mudd low-waist, > belly-baring flares, does she... Well, "need" might be a bit strong... ;-) Signaturejmk in NC Hiedi, GOOD for you!!! Tossing the FAT CLOTHES is sooo great! I CAN NOT do that? 20 years since loosing 100+ but I DID throw the LARGER ones (18 and up) out and I gaied the 25 or so back but now I'm at this AGAIN! As far as the BARRIER to not losing, I HAVE always had that GREAT BARRIER! UGH, it NEVER leaves me! BUT, you know, as I was losing I went through a kind of mourning period! WOW it was hard to over come my FAT SELF! UNTIL, people begun to treat me like a differant person with respect !! It felt very strange. As far as my weight-gain, I am with ms and there are times I'm too sedendary! Out of remission is the pits & I'm THERE now:( but I FIGHT the fat war !!! No matter what, I CAN BE THIN!! It IS BETTER than any other way!!!! MY DOC told me"watch the weight' now that you are "DOWN'" for a while!! I WILL NOT GAIN!! I eat LITTLE as I can not work it off! One day I'll be back to more movement:) and I'll be thankful to have been careful to NOT GAIN!! glo:) WINNING THE BATTLE OF THE BULDGE:) drayrokTAKEMEOUT@yahoo.com wrote: > Last night I forced myself to toss out all my too big clothes. I bet that was fun! I rewarded myself by having a clothes-tossing binge at every 20 pound milestone. I would try on virtually everything and separate it into piles. Pile 1 - too big to ever wear again. Pile 2 - fits good now. Pile 3 - might fit after losing 20 more pounds. Pile 4 - might fit after losing 40 or more pounds. Pile 5 - how in the heck did I ever wear that? Pile 6 - what the heck was I thinking?! Little did I know that I eventuall got thin enough to wear some of the pile 5 stuff, but it was probably way out of style. Stuff like red, white & blue striped bell-bottoms, lime green leisure suite, etc. SignaturePhil M. > Stuff like red, white & blue > striped bell-bottoms, lime green leisure suite, etc. > > -- __Panic/scream/run__ :) Heidi Phil M. LIME GREEN liesure suite?? <UGH> heehee A good holloween suit maybe? :>) just too funny:) glo > I disagree. I think people do allow their emotions to prevent them from > reaching their weight-loss goals. It really depends on how they feel > about their bodies, and what they feel their size represents. Ok, fair enough. I think I would agree with the above also. > I believe we had a discussion before about what we felt our weight > "said" about us--answers ranged from "I'm a heavyweight--no one can push > me around," to "I'm protected--no one can reach me." Someone who has > been sexually abused may avoid losing weight to avoid comment on their > physical appearance. Again, true enough. But then, what is the solution? Does one just say to one's self "Ya, I got emotional issues concerning my weight, this is hopeless until I work through them somehow." and then throw up their hands? I know personally, that if I waited for my head to be fixed, I would never, ever lose an ounce. True, having head problems doesn't help one tiny little bit. But I really do think that it is possible to soldier and lose weight despite the hang ups one might have. I don't think the body really cares what the mind is doing. Less calories in than calories spent means weight loss, even for nut cases like myself. SignatureAnnie 258/225/140 Started February/07/05 > I don't think the body really cares what > the mind is doing. Less calories in than calories spent means weight [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Started February/07/05 I hear what you are saying, and I agree that less in than used means weight loss, but I don't think I can so easily dismiss the effect our psyche has on our body's functioning. Take depression, for example. If I'm down, and I don't work out and I don't eat breakfast, instead sleeping until 11am, my metabolism is slower than it would be otherwise. If I'm depressed, I also stop taking thyroid meds, and that doesn't help the picture. If I were more motivated to do so, I'd look for some references to the connections between body and mind and the impact one has upon the other, but it's been a long week and I don't wanna. (she said like a brat) So I'll just put my 2cents out there and go watch a movie. ;) Heidi > About 2 or so months ago, my friend looked at me, put her fingers around my > wrist, and said, "Damn girl, you're going to be LITTLE when you finish [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > "little" in the eyes of the world. So...that gave me lots to think about, > right? You bet... While I think it's true that larger and taller people have an advantage in terms of presence, if you're more happy and confident at a lower weight that can more than compensate for any reduction in size. Heidi, I had the same experience of losing weight becoming extremely difficult at a certain point. For me it happened when I reached approximately 177 lbs. I am now about 174, and going below 173 is always difficult. For me, it has little to do with my emotional condition. i > So, I'm wondering if any of you folks have had experience with an > "emotional" barrier about your weight-loss "pounds" or specific > targets/goals, in the way that I've written about above. This is a tough one. Sometimes I feel like I have emotional barriers for every pound I lose. I'm having good success, and my numbers are where I want them to be for the time I've spent doing this, but I still feel like a fraud and impostor. I can't *really* be doing this good at this. And I feel that every pound I lose is the last one I ever will. Yeah, I'm a mess. I get through it by taking a deep breath, and then just focusing on doing the things that I know have worked to this point. When I feel that I can't possibly lose anymore, I make a point to keep to my regime strictly, doing my exercise, weighing and logging what I eat, and keeping my calories down. It might take a couple of days, or a week, but invariably that scale will drop. I'm sorry I can't give any deeper advice. Like I said, I'm a mess. But focusing on the process of the weight loss rather than dwelling on my negative thoughts has worked for me so far. SignatureAnnie 258/226.5/140 Started February/07/05 > > So, I'm wondering if any of you folks have had experience with an > > "emotional" barrier about your weight-loss "pounds" or specific [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > But focusing on the process of the weight loss rather than dwelling on > my negative thoughts has worked for me so far. I had these concerns and although I often feel I would be better off five pounds lighter, I no longer feel like a fat person and when weight loss diets are being discusssed, i don't join in. SignatureDiva ***** The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman |
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