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Weight Loss Forum / General Topics / November 2003Children's weight issues for dieting Mum
My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. I've got three children. I've got a normal sized 12 year old who has no health issues, has had menarche, stuff like that. She's slim but not skinny. She exercises regularly. I've got a 10 year old son who has a bit too much bodyfat for optimum health but only a health nut would notice - half his class is bulkier than him. I mentioned to his doctor once that I was concerned about the development of new belly fat and the doctor looked at me like I was nuts. (The doctor sees tons of obese children - no pun intended - and didn't think my kid's fat roll was worth commenting on.) In retrospect I wish I had never made that comment. It was soon after noticing my son's trend towards rotundness that I made my major lifestyle changes to lose my weight. My son's eating has not changed that much and we're handling his slight weight issues by increasing family activities. But my third child is very, very small. 28 pounds at four years old. He's gained 1.5 pounds in the past two years. There are reasons why he might be small - a critical illness last year where he lost a bunch of weight (that he's since regained), the fact that all his siblings were unusually small at his age, the fact that my kids are unusually active and eat unusually healthy foods in comparison to their peers... But the doctor knows I've lost 50+ pounds in the past year, and has started wondering if I've got some sort of eating disorder. What to do? I've got until Jan. 15th to fatten him up and then the doctor plans to start doing all sorts of tests that I don't want to put my kid through. (My kid is energetic and healthy - no colds, etc.) Here's what I do. I put peanutbutter on anything possible. I feed him spoonfuls of cod liver oil. I mix flaxseed into his oatmeal. I give him Balance bars or Myoplex shakes for snacks. He has a snack cupboard with a wide variety of choices available to him all the time (including pudding & those dreaded almonds.) He is fed five or six times a day. He doesn't have a huge appetite and is unpredictable in what he'll eat: tonight, for example, he ate cranberry relish and whole wheat bread but passed up the mashed potatoes and turkey and broccoli (which he usually loves.) I don't buy cookies or chips or pretty much any refined flour products - even the crackers are whole wheat ones. I only buy skim milk for the rest of the family but I buy flavored 2% milk for him (because he won't drink plain milk.) I'm thinking of mixing up infant formula for him again if he'll drink it! Any other ideas? He just came downstairs saying he's hungry for an orange so I'll go get him one (yes, it's after 9 pm and no, he's not sleepy.) Wendy Get another doctor right now. He may not be bad, and he may be right, but you do not want to deal with suspicions and such that he is required to report to authorities. As for feeding your son, I am not a pediatrician, but the standard advice is to give him choice of quite a few foods at every meal. Let him eat whatever he wants whenever he wants, I figure, except for junk food. i > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Wendy > But the doctor knows I've lost 50+ pounds in the past year, and has > started wondering if I've got some sort of eating disorder. What to > do? I've got until Jan. 15th to fatten him up and then the doctor plans > to start doing all sorts of tests that I don't want to put my kid > through. (My kid is energetic and healthy - no colds, etc.) Wendy, I'd get a second opinion and I'd probably do so sooner rather than latter. If both doctors agree, you'll feel better about the tests and if they don't agree, then you can decide whether you want to delay the tests or not. To me it sounds like you are on track with your family's eating plan but I'm not an RD or an MD so...  Signaturejmk in NC Don't make food a control issue like this. A four-year-old's stomach is not very large. If you put a little on his plate and he doesn't want more, don't give him more. He will let you know when he is hungry again. Then give him a low-fat snack otherwise you are setting him up to add body fat. If your doctor isn't concerned about each child's health, find another doctor. The issue is not how your child stacks up against other children the doctor sees, it's whether the child is healthy for his or her age. > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Wendy Wendy, I usually don't post here, but having been through some very similar issues, I have a few suggestions. First -- you are going to need a second opinion because if this doctor thinks that you might have an eating disorder this preconcieved notion might prevent him from seeing/interperting symptoms correctly. Second -- let your son eat as much or as little as he wishes and log every bite he puts in his mouth. Discretely, paying *too* much attention to his eating habits is a GREAT way to give him an eating disorder. If you find that your active 4 year old is only taking in, for example, 12-14 calories/pound of bodyweight then you know that you need to encourage him to eat more calories (like you have been doing with the peanut butter on everything, etc.) if, however you see that he is eating twice that and not gaining then you might have to look for signs that he is not absorbing/utilizing his food properly. Third -- Food intolerances can be subtle. Think back to when he was in diapers. Did his poops look/smell the same as his siblings? Is he frequently gassy? Do you ever see him walking around with his hands on his stomach? Good luck:)Robyn > > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > > > Wendy Wendy, Missed the OP. I'm sick like a dog and have very strong opinions about this post but they'll just have to wait. The end result - find a new doc. Your son eats very well and suffered a critical illness earlier in the year. If he has no other symptoms such as frequent infections, diarrhea, etc. blow off the doc. Deliberately trying to 'fatten' the kid up to avoid tests that will show he is just like his other two siblings were at that age is stupid. Sorry. Got the flu - fever and all and not very diplomatic today. j > Sorry. Got the flu - fever and all and not very diplomatic today. Oh, Julianne, I am so sorry you got hit! I hope you feel better soon. Get lots of sleep. I wish I could pass you my favorite flu tonic: a hot toddy made with whiskey. It's good for what ails you! Wendy > > Sorry. Got the flu - fever and all and not very diplomatic today. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Wendy Thanks so much for your kind words. This has been going on since last week and I am tired of it. I am showing signs of recovery, though and hope I approaching the end of this. If I could just get a good night's sleep, I think I would be on my way. j > > > Sorry. Got the flu - fever and all and not very diplomatic today. > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > approaching the end of this. If I could just get a good night's sleep, I > think I would be on my way. We've got a bug going around here right now - nasty flu... crap coming out both ends and it lasts for a good 2 weeks before they feel better. 2 people I've spoken to lost 15lbs in 1 or 2 days just from the bathroom visits... and my girlfriend lost over 20lbs in the 2 weeks she had it. Its awful. > 2 people I've spoken to lost 15lbs in 1 or 2 days just from the bathroom > visits... hmm........... I only need to lose 7..................... > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Wendy You might want to get a second opinion before putting him through the tests. He sounds like the typical healthy 4 year old to me. I would be a little wary of a doctor who thinks I have an eating disorder and am starving my child. Beverly I"ll second the opinion on getting a second opinion. But I have to ask - who has control in your house? In our house, when at a meal - protein and veggies come first, then other foods if you are still hungry. And cod liver oil.. GAG!! How horrid... <the thought makes me shudder> One thing I do with DS (who is almost 10) is to explain to him about our bodies nutritional needs. Why protein is important, what carbs are good and why we don't eat excess sugar or flour. Etc. When DS starts looking at calorie contents of food, I put a stop right there and explain to him that at his age and activity level, it is not necessary for him to worry about how many calories he is/isn't eating. We learn that meat and veggies are very important. Junk food and snacks are eaten in moderation. Water is better than sugary juices and sodas, etc and so on. When he was young, it was always a requirement to eat at least some protein and veggies before he got to eat the more flavorful treats. With our meals - we all eat the same thing. If I'm making pork chops and stir fry, he is expected to eat that. If it has onions or peppers in it, then we do our best to take those out for him, but he may end up eating a few. >My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > >Wendy > I"ll second the opinion on getting a second opinion. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > other foods if you are still hungry. And cod liver oil.. GAG!! > How horrid... <the thought makes me shudder> Haha, my son just begs me to give him cod liver oil (2.5 years old). Of course, I do not mind giving him cod liver oil. I also love CLO. I know that it has weird taste, but it is great stuff. Wendy's doc has good reasona for concern. My son is on the smaller side and at 2.5 he is 28 lbs. I would think that a 28 lbs four year old is a reason for concern. I would change the docs to justnot deal with suspicions on the current doc's part. i 223/176/180 >> I"ll second the opinion on getting a second opinion. >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >i >223/176/180 Well, I can tell you that when I was a youngun, I started kindergarden at 5 yrs old weighing only 20lbs. Granted, my son was 20lbs when he was 5 months old. :) My son is almost 10 yrs old (will be ina few weeks) is currently 4'9" tall and 80 - 85lbs. I'm certainly not worried about his weight in either direction. But, yes, I agree, 28lbs is a wee little one, but there are reasons and there are also "small kids". ANd like Wendy said - he's healthy and active, he's not behind in other developmental areas. He's not showing signs of illness other than being a wee, little guy. > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. snip > Any other ideas? He just came downstairs saying he's hungry for > an orange > so I'll go get him one (yes, it's after 9 pm and no, he's not > sleepy.) > > Wendy Wendy, I had a similar problem with my youngest daughter--she was short, never gained, and compared to my older, robust, curvey girl, she seemed to be languishing rather than thriving. Doc did some blood tests, which all came back normal, and we discussed some of her other health issues--the most notable of which is an irratable-bowel like reaction whenever she eats (she was a colicky baby). Tummy aches, gas, need to head to the bathroom in the middle of meals. I was, and still am, reluctant to have her go through a colonoscopy at her age, and the doc thought the wait-and-see approach would be best. We basically allowed her to eat whenever she wanted, and at meal times only as much as she wanted, with no urgings to "finish what's on your plate." She just gradually started eating more. She is now nine, has gained considerably (she now has a little tummy roll), and is a head taller than her nine-year-old cousin. And even though she still has some intestinal distress at meal times ("that was a good rip!"), she's better about it. I think letting your son make his own food choices is a good thing--he'll eat when he's hungry. And I think you should get another docs opinion. Considering his medical history, it is probably not unusual for him to lag behind a little. As long as he's healthy in every other respect, there shouldn't be cause to worry. Good luck to all of you, Amy >From: A Ross ar18nospam@cornell.edu >> My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. >> [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > >Amy Amy, You are describing the symptoms of food intolerance. If your doctor has not suggested that as a possiblity, you might want to do a little research into lactose/gluten intolerance. Robyn > Amy, > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Robyn I'll look into that. Thank you, Robyn. > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > But the doctor knows I've lost 50+ pounds in the past year, and has > started wondering if I've got some sort of eating disorder. What to > do? I've got until Jan. 15th to fatten him up and then the doctor plans > to start doing all sorts of tests that I don't want to put my kid > through. (My kid is energetic and healthy - no colds, etc.) Wendy, this sounds familiar. Lately I've been accused of having an eating disorder (though not by a doctor) because I watch what I eat, refuse to eat certain kinds of food, and work out an hour a day. I would switch doctors. I switched GYNs 6 weeks ago because I disagreed with mine on a plan of treatment and I'm thrilled with my new one - and not because he agrees with me, but because he listened to my concerns and to what *I* thought was going on and we were able to decide on a plan that we both were comfortable with. > Here's what I do. I put peanutbutter on anything possible. I feed him > spoonfuls of cod liver oil. I mix flaxseed into his oatmeal. I give him [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Wendy From what I know about kids (not being a parent, but working with them all day long), it seems like you're doing everything right by not turning the food thing into a control issue. My nephew is a little guy. I don't know how much he weighs, but I know I'm was still buying him 5T clothes when he was nearly 7 years old. You are providing your family with a healthy WOE and there's nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of vegetarians that raise their children as vegetarians. If possible, I'd go for a second opinion and possibly change doctors. Jenn (who's new dr. said to gain 5 pounds before surgery next week - mission accomplished) 300/150 Jenn wrote: >Wendy, this sounds familiar. Lately I've been accused of having an eating >disorder (though not by a doctor) because I watch what I eat, refuse to eat >certain kinds of food, and work out an hour a day. I would switch doctors. Any chance he's right? (And "no" is a perfectly acceptable answer.) >whose new dr. said to gain 5 pounds before surgery next week - mission >accomplished) >300/150 So why did he say that you need to gain 5 pounds (and why did you accept that) if you have no reason to worry about your new, lower weight? beeswing, 178/105, asking for reasons of her own (and yes, thanks, I feel and look great at 105) > x-no-archive: yes > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Any chance he's right? (And "no" is a perfectly acceptable answer.) It wasn't a doctor, it's been a fat person at work with a gossipy tongue and big mouth who is shocked, just shocked that I make the effort to go to Curves in the morning (40 minutes) for a resistance workout (including push ups and crunches) and then in the evening I do 30 minutes of Tae Bo, or run, or some other aerobics, and play competitive volleyball once a week. Then I even do a 90 minute yoga class once a week and about 10-15 minutes of yoga each day. The exact words were "you're turning in to some kind of exercise freak." Yep, freaky me. I choose to turn down the doughnuts and cookies and candy so apparently I have an eating disorder because I "should be able to eat cookies by now" because I'm so thin. Simple things like eating a salad instead of the casserole served for lunch have brought on similar comments from nearly complete strangers (people in my class this weekend). Eating healthy makes me an anomoly so there must be something wrong with me. > >whose new dr. said to gain 5 pounds before surgery next week - mission > >accomplished) > >300/150 > > So why did he say that you need to gain 5 pounds (and why did you accept that) > if you have no reason to worry about your new, lower weight? I'm not worried about my new, lower weight. I feel fine but have some health issues that I've chosen not to share publicly and the doctor wanted me to put on 5 pounds. I'm willing to go along because he's been a great doctor so far. If it doesn't help my situation then I'll take it back off since I know I'm quite capable of doing it. Also, with surgery late Monday and having to fast from Sunday at midnight, I probably won't be able to stomach any real food until Tuesday night or so (based on past experience with general anasthesia). Doc thought I might feel better if I had a little fat on me before next week. He also said over the course of time I will have to let my bf% increase just a bit in order to make menopause a little easier. Hopefully I have another 10-15 years before dealing with that! > beeswing, > 178/105, asking for reasons of her own (and yes, thanks, I feel and look great > at 105) Jennifer A wrotre: >It wasn't a doctor, Sorry. Strike the question -- I misunderstood. You should never have to listen to the peanut gallery. And I'm sorry to hear about your health issues. I'm glad you have a doctor you trust and like. If you don't mind my asking, how does a bodyfat increase help make menopause easier? I have several years before I have to even consider that, but it never hurts to keep informed. Best wishes! beeswing > x-no-archive: yes > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Sorry. Strike the question -- I misunderstood. You should never have to listen > to the peanut gallery. I just can't get over how our society views a healthy lifestyle these days, as something abnormal or disordered. When I was at my top weight, I envied people who worked out regularly, I didn't think they were sick. Yep, I know of those people who compulsively exercise or do it as part of their anorexia and I know it can be mistaken, but after spending the entire weekend on my butt and doing no real exercise I can say, that's not me :) > And I'm sorry to hear about your health issues. I'm glad you have a doctor you > trust and like. All of the women at work love this guy. I used to only see women gyns after a really bad experience with a male doctor, but there are no longer any female gyns in the area. > If you don't mind my asking, how does a bodyfat increase help make menopause > easier? I have several years before I have to even consider that, but it never > hurts to keep informed. Because I hope that I have many years before I deal with it, I chose not to discuss the issue at that time but follow up later when things are less stressful so I'll let you know when I know more. > Best wishes! > > beeswing Thanks! Jenn Jenn wrote: >Because I hope that I have many years before I deal with it, I chose not to >discuss the issue at that time but follow up later when things are less >stressful so I'll let you know when I know more. I'm sorry -- I thought you were talking about a general menopause issue that applied to all women and not a personal issue that related to you. I have no interest in prying. I only thought there might be a reason I'd want to pick up body fat between now and then, and if if there was, I wanted to know about it. beeswing > x-no-archive: yes > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > beeswing He did indicate is was in general, not specific to me other than the fact that I'm apparently very lean right now (and yet bloated). The exact comment was something like, "you're going to want to think about putting some fat on you before menopause." me: why? him: "a little body fat makes it easier to go through" me: oh, am I ok for now? him: "yes, but you don't want to lose anymore weight, do you?" me: I haven't decided him: "don't until we get this taken care of. As a matter of fact, you would do better with the surgery if you put on about 5 pounds. Can you?" me: LOL (etc...) So I stopped restricting my caloric intake lately but trying to stick to my WOE, got up to 150 and now I'm down to 147 though I'm logging my food and taking in about 2100 cal/day, including whole wheat tortillas spread w/ natural (no sugar) peanut butter and wrapped around a banana (total bliss). The water bloat from the MSG/salt overdose is dropping off but I still have remnants of the Julianne/JayJay diets from last week so I guess I won't be a full 5 pounds up. Jenn 300/147 >> x-no-archive: yes >> [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >Jenn >300/147 Being menopausal myself, I've learned something about this. Basically, the body can create estrogen from fat, thus creating a sort of natural estrogen replacement therapy. So women with more bodyfat often have fewer hot flashes and such. (I've noticed some increase in night sweats since I've lost weight. I don't take hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for menopause and never have.) Here's an article that touches on this: http://www.oakwood.org/womens/menopause_detail.asp?ContentId=226 There's a downside to this, though, as certain cancers (breast cancer, for example) are stimulated by estrogen. These are less common in menopausal women, but somewhat more so in those who are overweight. Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through menopause bones tend to lose density. None of this, of course, is a reason to become or stay obese. But I gather that women who are very lean can have a lot harder time with menopause unless they use HRT. Chris > Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that > heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through > menopause bones tend to lose density. I'm not sure what to think of the whole bone thing. I recently read something about exercise (weight bearing including running, walking, outdoor cycling, etc.) and Vit. D. being more important to maintaining and strengthening bones than calcium. I think that it was in "Eat, Drink and Be Healthy." Anyway, I'd like to learn more about that. I'll feel more comfortable with that info once I read it in other sources, you know? Signaturejmk in NC >> Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that >> heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >feel more comfortable with that info once I read it in other sources, >you know? I don't know that I've seen a comparison between the efficacy of exercise vs. calcium, but I do know that weight-bearing exercise is generally considered important to maintaining bone density. Presumably that's related to the fact that heavier people have stronger bones than lighter people. Chris >>> Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that >>> heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > >Chris I've certainly always believed this too, Chris, and that seriously underweight women are at greater risk of osteoperosis. I'm post-menopausal but still taking HRT. I'm also aware that the extra oestrogen that being overweight gives me plus that in the HRT puts me at higher risk of breast cancer, and I'm thinking of talking to my doctor about giving it up. Guess I'll have to do even more walking then, but not sure how I'll cope with the other unpleasant age-related side effects which the HRT has kept away. janice >>>Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that >>>heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Chris I think that he was referring to the Nurses' Study. Here's some info that reflects what I remember from the book: Calcium conundrum: Surprisingly, the study showed that women who drank two glasses of milk a day were just as likely as those who drank one glass a week to suffer a fracture of the hip or wrist -- so calcium's no magic bullet. Caffeine, too much red meat and certain medications, including thyroid pills, increase the risk of osteoporosis. The best you can do for your bones? Walk, jog or lift weights. Researchers still recommend drinking milk, but they also suggest that women can benefit from taking a 400 IU daily supplement of vitamin D and eating foods rich in vitamin K. http://chealth.canoe.ca/columns.asp?columnistid=7&articleid=1965 This is also discussed on the Harvard website: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/calcium.html I think that part of the point that Willett was trying to make is that calcium has always been studied with Vitamin D. What if it's not the calcium but the Vitamin D? Should we be focusing more on that? Signaturejmk in NC > > Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that > > heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > feel more comfortable with that info once I read it in other sources, > you know? http://www.nof.org/prevention/index.htm Here's a good site to learn about osteoporosis and it's prevention. I was diagnosed with osteopenia over two years ago and started taking medication at that time. My doctor was not pleased with the results of my latest bone scan and he changed the medication. I decided to start a more regular weight lifting regime and joined Curves. I'm hoping for better results on the next bone scan with the new medication, weight lifting and the 1200mg calcium taken daily. IMHO there isn't one thing that's more important than the other in the prevention of this disease. I think it's a combination of diet, exercise and life style. ASAIK no one else in my family has this problem, but then again most of them probably didn't live long enough for it to be a problem. Heart disease, cancer and diabetes has taken many of my family members at an early age (40-60). Beverly - who's hoping to beat the odds :) > > > Another of the (relatively few) benefits to being heavier is that > > > heavier women generally have stronger bones. And as one goes through [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > the next bone scan with the new medication, weight lifting and the 1200mg > calcium taken daily. I should have said weight resistance training as Curves is not weight lifting. > IMHO there isn't one thing that's more important than the other in the > prevention of this disease. I think it's a combination of diet, exercise [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Beverly - who's hoping to beat the odds :) I can only imagine how awesome it would to be told that.... > Jenn (who's new dr. said to gain 5 pounds before surgery next week - mission > accomplished) > 300/150 Here's the point that hit most home for me when reading your post about this issue. <snip> > But the doctor knows I've lost 50+ pounds in the past year, and has > started wondering if I've got some sort of eating disorder. <snip> He's not your Dr. and has no business diagnosing you and your nutrition. If your child is well taken care of and it seems he(your son) is from your post and things you've stated in the past about your kiddos. I would blow it off comment wise from him and find another Dr. As for weight gain suggestions for your babe.. that's difficult not knowing the kids tastes likes and dislikes. Just do your best Wendy and as long as your doing that yall will be fine IMO. You likely have more education about nutrition than he does. Not every child is standard to the height/weight guidelines. It's what makes us all unique and individual. Susan 260/202/160 --- 2month 1weeks 3days 15:52hours of being smoke-free, 2,873 cigs not smoked, $531.51 saved, 1wweek 2day 23:25hours of my life saved > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Wendy > Not every child is standard to > the height/weight guidelines. It's what makes us all unique and > individual. When I told my mother about this she reminded me that her youngest child was taken from her and placed in a hospital for "failure to thrive" when she was breastfeeding him because he was so small and they were so anti-breastfeeding. I had forgotten that (I was so young... and so skinny then.) None of my (breastfed) children hit 20 pounds until they were 18 months old. My niece on my husband's side was poked and prodded and tested for a solid year about why she was so small and the answer finally came down, "she's just small." (She was a 21 pound 2 year old.) I had hoped to get a free pass to avoid all this by citing family tradition of being tiny. I may still. I don't want to change doctors because this one is interested, smart and responsive. This kid has been through a critical illness and I appreciate the doctor being careful about his health. There's always a yin/yang thing that has to happen with medical care, though: you want the RIGHT amount - not too much and not too little. I fight for balance and it's not easy to attain. I also need the doctor on my side with a fight I'm having with the HMO with regards to treating his dental issues (a whole 'nother story.) I honestly think I'm better off with a doctor who has known me for years and maybe doesn't like a particular thing about me than with one who doesn't know me from Adam and doesn't understand that I'm educated, vigilant and not a careless consumer of medical expertise. If I ask for help it's because I really need it. My relationship with the pediatrician literally saved my two year old's life when I brought him in on his third day of throwing up and said, "this isn't a normal stomach bug. I'm worried about e-coli, obstructed bowels, peritonitis, cascading organ failure..." The doctor thought I was nuts (reading too many Robin Cook mysteries) but humored me with an x-ray and a white blood count on a Sunday. No one was more stunned than the doctor at what it showed. The kid had emergency surgery that day for intestinal perforations and peritonitis. I believe that 9 out of 10 strangers would have said, "take some pepto bismal and call me in the morning." -- Wendy Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in chidlren. This is a response to your earlier post where you said that you add PB to everything. i > Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so > much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in > chidlren. This is a response to your earlier post where you said that > you add PB to everything. I've never heard of a four year old DEVELOPING a peanut allergy: is that how it works? I've always thought you either have one or you don't. Has anyone ever suggested to you that you can get a peanut allergy from eating too many peanuts? Is the same true for other things? Wendy >> Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so >> much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Has anyone ever suggested to you that you can get a peanut allergy from > eating too many peanuts? Is the same true for other things? Our son has allergy to nuts. (walnuts not peanuts). Once I was with him at some jewish function and he ate walnuts with honey and developed rashes everywhere in a few minutes. I had to take him out and take him to a drugstore for a quick dose of Benadryl. When we visted the allergist, he cautioned to not give him peanuts EVEN IF he does not have peanut allergy. He said that peanuts are very allergenic and they cause the child to become more sensitive to other things. He said that after a certain age (25 years old) this is no longer an issue. He said that if he was president (in a joking way) he would outlaw all peanuts for children. This was a very thoughtful doctor who did spend a lot of time with us explaining stuff etc. I really like that doctor. I also had allergies when I was a kid. i >>>Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so >>>much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > developed rashes everywhere in a few minutes. I had to take him out > and take him to a drugstore for a quick dose of Benadryl. I'm sorry to hear that your son has allergies and is at risk to develop additional food allergies. "The major strategy for preventing food allergies is to delay exposure to potentially allergenic foods and liquids, since newborn infants may be more likely to become allergic to foods than older infants. Mothers should breast feed their infants for at least four to six months if possible, since breast milk is much less likely to produce an allergic reaction and can strengthen the child's immune system. Infants not being breast fed or fed with breast milk should be fed partially pre-digested, protein hydrolysate formulas such as Alimentum or Nutramigen rather than milk- or soy-based formulas. "Infants should not be fed solid foods until they are six months old. When infants are six to 12 months old, vegetables, rice, meat, and fruit can be introduced to their diets. Each food should be introduced one at a time so parents or caregivers can identify and eliminate any foods that cause a reaction. After the child is one year old, milk, wheat, corn, citrus, and soy may be added. At two years of age, the child may have egg. Finally, at age three, fish and peanuts may be introduced. " http://www.aaaai.org/patients/publicedmat/tips/preventioninchildren.stm > When we visted the allergist, he cautioned to not give him peanuts > EVEN IF he does not have peanut allergy. He said that peanuts are very > allergenic and they cause the child to become more sensitive to other > things. He said that after a certain age (25 years old) this is no > longer an issue. Wow! Everything in the literature that I have seen seems to say after age three. That's a huge (22 YEAR!) difference! Signaturejmk in NC >>>>Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so >>>>much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > have egg. Finally, at age three, fish and peanuts may be introduced. " > http://www.aaaai.org/patients/publicedmat/tips/preventioninchildren.stm makes sense. >> When we visted the allergist, he cautioned to not give him peanuts >> EVEN IF he does not have peanut allergy. He said that peanuts are very [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Wow! Everything in the literature that I have seen seems to say after > age three. That's a huge (22 YEAR!) difference! Well, that's what he said. i > >> Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so > >> much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > i As a caution, children under 3 years old are not given peanuts when there is family history of allergies, not necessarily including food allergies. This is their most high risk of developing a peanut allergy before then. If you didn't know, peanuts are not tree nuts. They are legumes. >> >> Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so >> >> much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > If you didn't know, peanuts are not tree nuts. They are legumes. Thanks Sue, I am aware that peanuts are not nuts. i > > >> Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so > > >> much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > If you didn't know, peanuts are not tree nuts. They are legumes. It was originally because of potential for inhaling and choking them because of size. I'm thinking 30 years ago, here. No whole grapes, no cut up hot dogs, no raw carrots for the under 3 crowd as well. Ann >>Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so >>much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Has anyone ever suggested to you that you can get a peanut allergy from > eating too many peanuts? That's what I thought. I think that kids who are breast fed and exposed to pets (indoor dogs, etc.) were less prone to allergies but I think that by age two or three years you've kinda done what can be done already. Many food allergies seem to run in families so there may be a genetic component. Signaturejmk in NC > > Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so > > much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Wendy According to FIL's doctor, he developed an allergy to beef when he broke out all over in hives. He is in his 70's and is a beef lover. So, it could be possible when there is family history of allergies, which is the case here. You don't need to worry if there is no history of allergies in your family. > > Wendy, one thing I wanted to mention is to suggest avoiding using so > > much peanut butter. Peanuts are notorious for creating allergies in [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Wendy One can definitely develop an allergy at most any time. I have a friend who's developed a peanut allergy in the last year, and we're 30. She attributes it to overuse of peanuts in her cooking. I read that when trying to minimize exposure in children, you should alternate the days you eat allergenic foods while you nurse, to avoid overexposure, and avoid peanuts altogther. I do think you can get an allergy to many things by overuse, and that's why it surprises a lot of people (i.e. "But he ate them last week....") Tina. > > Not every child is standard to > > the height/weight guidelines. It's what makes us all unique and > > individual. This is true, but I must say that a larger percentage of children below the 5th percentile do have health issues than in the 5th and above. I have two children, both of whom 'fell off' the bottom of the charts at some point, and one of them does/did have health problems. But the other one's perfectly healthy -- just small! > When I told my mother about this she reminded me that her youngest child > was taken from her and placed in a hospital for "failure to thrive" when > she was breastfeeding him because he was so small and they were so > anti-breastfeeding. I had forgotten that (I was so young... and so skinny > then.) None of my (breastfed) children hit 20 pounds until they were 18 > months old. This sounds just like my kids. Someone was laughing at me this weekend because we didn't turn their carseats around until they were about 2 -- they didn't weigh enough! > My niece on my husband's side was poked and prodded and tested for a solid > year about why she was so small and the answer finally came down, "she's > just small." (She was a 21 pound 2 year old.) > > I had hoped to get a free pass to avoid all this by citing family > tradition of being tiny. I may still. I hope you get a free pass, too, and I think the Dr. is 100% *wrong* for even mentioning your weight to you, or speculating about your nutrition. Wrong wrong wrong. But, I'd get a blood draw on your son, at the least, because they can really tell a lot from that, and in the rare event that your son has some issue, better sooner than later that you find out. My daughter's main symptom was failure to thrive, and it turns out she is allergic to milk and eggs (the eggs we knew about before this, but it may have contributed), and her intestines had been damaged by *my* eating these foods while she nursed [she always refused dairy, and broke out on 2d exposure to egg, so she didn't get too much of it directly] to the point that she couldn't absorb nutrition from the foods she ate. This is very manageable, and she's likely to outgrow one or the other or both, with close monitoring of how we feed her now. She has other health issues, but finding out about her milk allergy cleared up questions about a lot of other possible -- and more serious -- issues. We would've refused the more invasive tests (biopsies, and things that require anasthesia), based on our knowledge of her sisters growth patterns, and mine, but the blood stuff was simple. > I don't want to change doctors because this one is interested, smart and > responsive. This kid has been through a critical illness and I appreciate [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > peritonitis. I believe that 9 out of 10 strangers would have said, "take > some pepto bismal and call me in the morning." This makes so much sense to me. We have a slightly worse relationship with our Ped. (the 'thing' she doesn't like about us might be *us*), but she has been there through my daughter's whole life, and I think her recommendations, while we don't always take them, are what she would do in our situation, really, so I can't get too mad. I can't think of what I would do if she were to say something about my weight in relation to any of my daughter's problems. I might be compelled to switch anyway, but it would be a very hard decision. I've been accused of having an eating disorder ( I was pregnant, and a relative mistook my cravings/morning sickness cycle for bulimia), and a friend told me her family's expressed worry about her having anorexia, which she doesn't. If it were a layperson, I'd probably say something snarky, but if it were my kids Ped., I think I'd say "Thanks for considering the health of our whole family as you evaluate my child. I don't have an eating disorder, but I do appreciate your concern with our family. About my son's appointment...." If the Dr. brought it up again, I'd be more inclined to switch. I would do a food log -- we had to do one for my daughter, and it's well worth it in 'evidence' for the future, if you ask me. If you have an accurate child's scale, I'd start tracking his weight if you're able to make it seem fun (maybe weekly?), and not medical. I worried a lot about what the Dr.s would say if they didn't find a problem with my daughter -- not that I'm happy they did, but I'm not afraid to take her in anymore. It's a shame that people worry this much about weight related issues. Best of luck! Tina. > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Wendy Wendy: I have been reading some of the responses and people are making ridiculous comments. You need a new doctor. I have lost 70 lbs in the past 2 yrs and I have heard that one friend thinks I have AIDS! People are so content with being overweight .... while their health is destroyed. Keep an eye on your son's weight. Andy >> But my third child is very, very small. 28 pounds at four years >> old. He's gained 1.5 pounds in the past two years. There are reasons why >> he might be small - a critical illness last year where he lost a bunch of >> weight (that he's since regained), the fact that all his siblings were >> unusually small at his age, the fact that my kids are unusually active and >> eat unusually healthy foods in comparison to their peers... I've got a tiny one too, now 2.5yo. Like your son, his growth pattern is similar to that of his older siblings (and mine as a child), so we mostly figured it was probably just a familial growth patter, but because it was so pronounced in my third child, we didn't want to rule out any other potential causes, so did agree to some testing. We had a sweat test done to rule out cystic fibrosis, and some blood work and a fecal fat analysis. >> I've got until Jan. 15th to fatten him up and then the doctor plans >> to start doing all sorts of tests that I don't want to put my kid >> through. (My kid is energetic and healthy - no colds, etc.) You don't have to consent to testing you don't want your child to have, of course. But as I'm sure you know, this may lead them to suspect abuse/neglect. Unfortunately, sometimes "failure to thrive" is caused by either incompetent or neglectful parents, and so it casts an unkind suspicion on all parents of tiny children. :( >> I only buy skim milk for the rest >> of the family but I buy flavored 2% milk for him (because he won't drink >> plain milk.) I'm thinking of mixing up infant formula for him again if >> he'll drink it! Try Carnation Instant Breakfast in whole milk for more fat, calories, protein, calcium. We mix in some half-and-half as well for even more fat. We also use the half-and-half in place of milk on his cereal. It sounds like you're doing lots of things to help him get enough fat and calories. You might document what he eats for a few days to hopefully satisfy the "experts" that you are in fact feeding him enough (both quantity and quality). Good luck! --Robyn > >> But my third child is very, very small. 28 pounds at four years > >> old. He's gained 1.5 pounds in the past two years. There are reasons why [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > Good luck! > --Robyn I have a nephew like this -- his older brother was good sized as a small child, but this one is tiny -- his Mom was worried until I showed her a picture taken when my husband was about 15 with his 6 younger brothers -- my husband who had hit puberty was good sized and his brothers were just all tiny [although only a few years younger] -- in his family the kids are tiny and then grow when they hit puberty -- all those little guys [including my SIL husband] are all now between 5'9 and 5'11 but they were dinky little guys -- > My son's pediatrician suspects I might be starving him. Big sigh. Oh great, JUST what you need, an over zealous doctor! >> Here's what I do. I put peanutbutter on anything possible. I feed him > spoonfuls of cod liver oil. I mix flaxseed into his oatmeal. I give him > Balance bars or Myoplex shakes for snacks. He has a snack cupboard with [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Any other ideas? He just came downstairs saying he's hungry for an orange > so I'll go get him one (yes, it's after 9 pm and no, he's not sleepy.) Well, my extremely skinny child is a lot older, but he weighs 78 lbs at 11 years, and is over 5' tall. He has not gained one ounce in the past 2 years, but nobody besides me seems overly concerned. However, his doctors have suggested that I do ANYTHING to bulk him up, including stuffing him full of high calorie junk food. I tried this, and guess what? He didn't gain an ounce. I do use Ensure with him, and have for several years now. He drinks this before school, then eats a high fat breakfast at school (I couldn't possibly MAKE a breakfast this high fat at home!) then he eats a small lunch because this is just his not hungry time. When he gets home from school he starts eating and eating and eating, and he basically doesn't shut his mouth except to swallow until 10 pm. If I ate the amount of calories he ate, I wouldn't fit through the door. He eats *at least* three complete dinners a night. He often sneaks downstairs in the middle of the night and eats more food. I continually find food in his bedroom and all over the house. His twin weighs about 20 lbs more than he does, and she's bone thin, too. Some of the things the doctor recommended are pure whipped cream (let him suck it down right out of the can...yum!), a lot of heavy dairy cheeses like triple cream brie, high fat chocolate (the good stuff!), and things like potato chips. Lots and lots of carbs. Now, none of this works for my VERY fast metabolism kid, but it might work for your child, especially if you are just trying to bulk him up to get the doctor off your back. My kid eats very healthy foods as a rule, so I don't care if he stuffs himself on junk food. He eats at least one apple, and usually more, a day, he eats fish, chicken, dairy, salads, veggies, and fruits. We don't have soda in the house ever, but I've thought about it. :-) Good luck! Marjorie > Wendy |
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